Captain of the Host of Israel -- 3 March 2014

I came across a wonderful story in the Scriptures the other day. In Joshua 5.

Joshua had just arrived at Jericho when suddenly:

and, behold, there stood a ^aman over against him with his sword drawn in his hand

So, naturally, what do you do when you see a guy staring at you with a sword in his hand?

and Joshua went unto him, and said unto him, Art thou for us, or for our adversaries?

Naturally, you walk up to him and ask him which army he's in. He responds

And he said, Nay

In other words, "I'm not a member of any army."

but as captain of the ^ahost of the Lord am I now come.

Wait... what? 

but as captain of the ^ahost of the Lord am I now come.

In other words, "My name is Jehovah, and I'm here to lead you to victory."

Remember a few weeks ago when we talked about believing Christ? Trusting him that He would fulfill His promises. Well, Joshua marches up to Jericho, and who's standing there with a sword, ready to "fight his battles for you"? Christ. It was really cool to find scriptural evidence of Christ really being there for us. Not just in a "sit back and watch you work and give you some help every once in awhile" kind of way. But in an active way. Dressing up, grabbing his sword,  and working. Christ makes all the difference.

p.s. Wouldn't it be so cool to see Christ ready for battle? We always picture him in a robe, the sword image made Him that much cooler. 

This week was good. Zone conferences finished up... And that's pretty much what we did this week.

Anyway, this one was really fast and sloppy.

Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order!

Elder Hill

Will You... -- 24 February 2014

Dear Friends and Family and anyone else who may read this email for some reason, (#aknightstale)

Hi! How are you? If you're getting this email you can be sure that I love you and that I probably think of you often. Since the beginning of my mission, actually, I've probably been thinking of you. That's right, 18 months and counting and you've been on my mind.

This week we've been doing Zone Conferences, we have a lot to do this coming week as well. They've been a blessing more because of what happens outside of the conference than inside. I don't think anything I really say to anyone is any more special that what you  or my companion would say to someone. So, Zone Conferences, while important and revelatory are just really the small part of what we really do. 

I'm trying to be completely honest in these emails, I hope you know that. 

Yesterday at church we were sitting with a non member who just walked into church. The talks in the meeting were awesome. They were about enduring to the end, faith, and the Atonement. I was completely captivated by what the Spirit was teaching me, actually. Not necessarily by what they were saying, but rather by what I was hearing, if that makes sense. 

I was thinking of repentance. 

Repentance and I have something of an intimate relationship, for a long time it was really love-hate. It was a painful, fear filled thing that resulted in the joy that the savior has promised. 

Repentance is not a stand-alone principle. Rather it is a principle that is fueled by faith, which results in covenant keeping and covenant making. Repentance is the means by which we overcome every sorrow, hardship, fear, and imperfection in our lives, which are in our ability to control. Repentance is a change of heart, a change of mind. It is a fresh view about God, about ourselves, and about the world. 

Repentance is brought about by the Grace of Jesus Christ--- grace which ENABLES us to decide to change, and to make the necessary steps to do so. God does not simply pick you up, break you, and shape you into a new person. Rather, He enables you through his Grace to choose to follow Him. He makes the things that seem impossible, possible. Like the pioneers who prayed that their stomachs would be strengthened so they could eat the hide of cattle to survive the winter, so too is grace enabling us to repentance. Our minds and hearts are strengthened to overcome the bitter taste of sin which can be so addicting to us. You may hear of stories where someone is trying to quit smoking, and the very thought of it becomes disgusting for them. That is His grace. Or someone addicted to pornography not bearing to be around any kind of sexual temptation for fear of its bitter outcomes... they have been blessed by grace---enabled by it to conquer it. 

Repentance requires faith in Jesus Christ that He can and will change us. Faith relates directly to our desires. If we want to change, if we desire to be better, then we will choose to believe Him. But God will not force repentance upon any unwilling participant. We must choose to believe Him, and to believe in him. Not only to trust in His existence, but simply to rely on the promises He has given us that we will no longer feel the guilt, shame, or sorrow brought about by our poor choices. 

What about those without faith? Well, in the words of Mormon

40 And again, my beloved brethren, I would speak unto you concerning ^ahope. How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope?

 41 And what is it that ye shall ^ahope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have ^bhope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life ^ceternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.

This relates directly to what Alma said:

 27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than ^adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

Do you have hope? Or desire? Do you really want it? Do you want it enough to try? He will fill your heart. 

Repentance leads to cleansing, though it is not repentance that cleans us. Repentance is simply a bridge to salvation, not the means of it. The way to cleanliness is through Covenants and Ordinances. In other words, we are baptized because we desire to be clean. We are not forgiven nor is the price fully paid for the sin, until we make promises through ordinances that we will change. In other words we are not fully forgiven nor can we be clean, feel peace or fully happy until we have partaken of the Sacrament worthily, having made the promise that we are willing to take upon us the name of the Son and keep his commandments. He makes this promise with us so that we can choose to follow Him, and so He can be enabled to take a more active role in our lives and assist us in change by the power of His spirit. Thus, we keep the promises that we make by living the commandments--- attending church, reading our scriptures, praying, and keeping our covenants. In exchange for these things, God cleanses us, makes us pure, holy, and righteous, and we are changed into "New creatures in Christ."

Repentance, when coupled with ordinances, brings us the Spirit, which acts as a protection and strives to keep us on a path leading toward eternal happiness and salvation with Christ. 

So, it is for this purpose that we are called to "declare repentance" and "invite others to come unto Christ." Because God wants us in His kingdom, and in order to get there, we must repent. 

Doctrine and Covenants 19 says it best: 15 Therefore I command you to repent—repent, lest I ^asmite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your ^bsufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not.

 16 For behold, I, God, have ^asuffered these things for all, that they^bmight not suffer if they would ^crepent;

 17 But if they would not repent they must ^asuffer even as I;

 18 Which ^asuffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might ^bnot drink the bitter cup, and shrink—

 19 Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and^afinished my preparations unto the children of men.

 20 Wherefore, I command you again to repent, lest I ^ahumble you with my almighty power; and that you ^bconfess your sins, lest you suffer these ^cpunishments of which I have spoken, of which in the smallest, yea, even in the least degree you have ^dtasted at the time I withdrew my Spirit.

or in the words of Alma

 62 I speak by way of command unto you that belong to the church; and unto those who do not belong to the church I speak by way of invitation, saying: Come and be baptized unto repentance, that ye also may be partakers of the fruit of the ^atree of life.

So, dear friends, will you repent? I don't know what it is you're facing, but I love you. I think of you and I'm praying for you. I know that each of us struggles with our imperfections... but we can be clean. We can be happy. We can be confident. We can feel peace. We can feel hope for a better world. We are His children.

Will you follow Him? 

I love you with all of my heart.

Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

I Feel God's Love When... 17 February 2014

Hello Friends! I was perusing lds.org when I came across a web page that went a little something like this: "I feel God's love when..." and it had 6 photos and a bunch of sliced tweets on it. This one was my favorite.

http://www.lds.org/pages/gods-love?cid=HPFR021214493&im=true&lang=eng

http://www.lds.org/bible-videos/videos/young-jesus-teaching-in-the-temple?lang=eng

I also saw this video, and it inspired me. When Christ was just 12 he understood who he was. Does it occur to anyone else that we share the same divine heritage through Christ? Can we too know so strongly who we are that we amaze those around us with our character, hope, faith, wisdom, and understanding. If we will give Him the glory, He will through us. 

After all, who are we not to be His elect? :D 

I know it's just a quick thought, but let's be honest, you probably haven't even made it this far. 

Look, I know it must get old listening to me go... but the message that we share is too important. I have been called of Him through His prophet to proclaim His gospel to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people. I know His message is true. 

So, do you want power? Hope? Courage? Change? a Second Chance? 

Stand. Be numbered with Him. 

Calling all to come unto Christ, and be perfected in Him. 

I'm in Medicine Hat. I love you all so much, you don't even know. Thank you for teaching me to be His through your wonderful examples. :D (zone conferences for the next 2 weeks)

Believe. Peace. Love. And Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

Going Ham -- 3 February 2014

Alright (you know when I start an email that way, that I'm about to go, so, put your seat belts on, and get ready for 6th gear).

 

This weekend we were in a Mission Leadership Council, and the council question proposed was, "What will it take for us to make it to 80 baptisms per transfer in this mission?" (I know some of you in other missions are like, "80 baptisms? We do that in a week!" Well, we don't but we can. And that is precisely the point I'm going to make.) Well, let me lead you through what happened.

 

The question was posed.

 

Someone responded, "That seems a little unrealistic." Then the council followed.

 

*sigh* At what point do we stop worrying about what is a little unrealistic and start believing in what God has promised us? When do we believe that he has said, "I will fight your battles for you"? and that he will actually do it. There's a wonderful series of talks that I've listened to, and a book I've read (I repented, relax) that talk about the difference between believing in Christ, and Believing Him. 

 

Look, I understand that we don't all have the faith of Jared, or the Courage of Ammon. I understand that we are all insignificant in our own way, but when it comes to doing the Lord's will, we are entitled to His help. Do we believe that? Do we trust him? Do we really get it? Will we receive something from him, and give it all to him?

 

There's a story (I'm plagiarizing right here) from the bible where the Children of Israel had just arrived at the promised land---the first time. Moses sent in 12 spies to find out what was going on in there. 10 of them came back and reported on the goodness of the land and its prosperity, but they then said, "And there we saw giants, and were in our own sight as grasshoppers." 

 

Is that how we see ourselves? As you can tell, I'm going ham right now, but for heaven's sake, DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!? Do you get it? Really? Do you see yourself as a grasshopper? Or as someone called of God to do a marvelous work and a wonder? This message is not just for the missionaries here. 

 

My dear friends... I don't know what giants you all face in your life, maybe it's 80 baptisms, or 1. It could be friends, or family, or fear. Maybe it's school, marriage, or music, but whatever giants stand in your path I promise you that you can believe Christ. He is our Saviour and Redeemer. With His strength, you are strong enough. You are a son or daughter of a Father in Heaven who has delegated to you His power, and there is nothing that is too strong for you---not with Him. 

 

You can believe Him. You can be the difference in someone's life. You can be that missionary that baptizes thousands. You can be the difference in the life of a struggling friend. You can do whatever it is God wants of you.

 

I love you all. Sorry for the rant, but someone's got to say it, or nobody would ever get there.

 

Believe Him. Rock on. Peace. Love. And Temple Marriage. In that order.

 

Elder Taylor J. Hill

They See Me Revving the Engine... -- 27 January 2014

Of my beautiful white minivan!!!! #sisterrowley 

We've been all over the mission this past week for exchanges. We had an exchanges with the missionaries in Cardston, Ft. Mcleod, and Calgary South. They were really good exchanges. I met a whole hoard of YSA sisters while we were in South Calgary who hooked us up with Mexican food (my favorite) and a few referrals. One of them knows a member down in Medicine Hat who is less active. Don't worry, we'll be back in the Hat this weekend. :D This is gonna be good. I love the Hat.

Thanks to everyone who's wished me a happy birthday this past week. It was my brother's birthday yesterday, so a shout out to him! The B family took me out for lunch (MexiCAN) and bowling on Monday, I ate Mexican on Tuesday, and a YSA member fed me Mexican on Wednesday. Wanna know the crazy part? My companion isn't sick of Mexican yet. Why? We were on exchanges the whole time! 

On Saturday we were on exchanges in Ft. Mcleod and teaching a less-active YSA. He has been choosing not to attend church for quite a long time. We started the lesson by reading the Book of Mormon with him, because he didn't do his reading (p.s. if the missionaries ever give you a reading assignment, read it. If you don't, they'll read it with you and ensure a spiritual experience so you will continue reading on your own, just don't miss out on it). We read Mosiah 4. About halfway through we were talking about how we use the Atonement to grow closer to our Heavenly Father.

I can't remember what was said, but this is how we ended up--- Me and J (name changed for privacy purposes) having a heart to heart, because we don't always feel worthy of the blessings we receive. He then talked about how he didn't feel worthy to enter a church building, or to take the sacrament. He was scared to see his Father in Heaven and terrified of having to face Him in His own house. 

We discussed how the Church was a house of healing, a hospital, not a house of horrors (interesting how those two tend to collide). I had been reading Alma 36 that morning (go figure) and had noticed something I hadn't before. 

15 Oh, thought I, that I ^acould be banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my ^bdeeds.

Then, after he had sought for Christ he said,

2 Yea, methought I saw, even as our father ^aLehi saw, God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angels, in the attitude of singing and ^bpraising their God; yea, and my soul did long to be there.

Well, I suppose that's my message for today. Sometimes we feel really far away from our Father in Heaven, or we've done something to damage our relationship with Him, and we would rather have the mountains fall upon us than to face His glory and Majesty, well, I repeat the message that God will take you as you are because He knows who you are capable of becoming. He doesn't turn away the injured or the fearful because of their mistakes, rather he invites them:

...will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may ^cheal you?

Promising that 

42 Behold, he who has ^arepented of his ^bsins, the same is^cforgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.

My soul longs to be there. With Him. I know He hopes (and I hope) to see you there as well. 

28 ¶^aCome unto me, all ye that ^blabour and are heavy laden, and I will give you ^crest.

 29 Take my ^ayoke upon you, and ^blearn of me; for I am ^cmeek and^dlowly in ^eheart: and ye shall find ^frest unto your souls.

 30 For my yoke is ^aeasy, and my burden is light. 

Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order. 

Elder Hill

20 January 2014

Dear Family & Friends, this week has been really good. We went on several exchanges. 2 In BC, and 4 in Lethbridge.So, I guess if it's just the Zone Leader exchanges, we only went on 4, but that's a lot of people to go on exchanges with. Yup. It was sooo good. 

While we were in BC we contacted a family referred to us by the B family (shout out!!!). They were some of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. They had super strong testimonies of their Savior. It is amazing to me to find people who have such incredible faith. I hope that one day they will all accept the fullness of His Gospel. 

There were 2 missionaries that I went with in Lethbridge.. as soon as I got into their car, I could feel the Spirit. You could tell in every way that they were doing what they were supposed to be doing. It is amazing how the Lord puts his stamp on His faithful servants. Not that every missionary doesn't have something special about them, but... when you are doing all you can, and repenting of what you can't, you are endowed with power from on High. God takes care of you in ways that you can't even imagine. When you run out of money (almost a guarantee if you aren't being fed often) somehow, you always have enough food, someone pays for a meal, or some needed help comes out of somewhere you never would have expected. When you are doing all you can to find someone to teach, and you feel low on spirits, strength, and determination, He places in your path that 1 person who really needed it, and he strengthens your weakened knees often by allowing the burdens to drive you to them. You find yourself praying harder than you've ever prayed before, and hoping more than you've ever dared hope that he would be there, and he always is. He always answers those prayers. When He feels far, and you don't seem to be able to reach Him, but you are doing your best to seek Him out, he always comes. 

Serving a mission is incredible. I remember one time while I was working at Papa Murphy's, I was at the register when 2 young men came in. They were both about 21, clean cut, and had a different look about them. I asked them the obvious, "Did you just get home from your missions?" "Yes!" they answered. One had been home for 3 weeks and the other for just 1 week. "How did you guess?" they asked. I told them that it was how they looked. Now I realize that it was how I felt when they came in. You could tell from a mile away what kind of missionary they were as they served. You didn't need to ask, you didn't need to see, the Spirit made it very apparent. 

I hope I will be like that someday.

I love you all

Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

Just How Blessed I Really Am -- 13 January 2014

You know, in all my entire mission, I have never had less than 10 emails in my inbox on a Monday morning? Never. I'm not saying it to brag, or say that I'm better than anyone else, (in fact, I probably get that much, because I need it so much) I'm just really really grateful to be able to wake up on a Monday morning knowing that I will hear from at least 1 person that I love. :D I'm blessed with good friends, best friends.

Being honest, I only remember 1 time that I've been angry at my mother (p.s. that was a subject change--- my conversation skills have obviously developed greatly since I've been on my mission, eh?). That was just a few months before my mission. You could really hardly call it angry, but it was a definite measure of frustration. Why? Because I felt that my mission needed to be my mission, and nobody elses. I had to be doing this on my shoulders. The weight of my mission had to be on my back, and I didn't want anyone else pushing me to get there. (she wasn't pushing, I'm just a pride-sack [it means what it says--- a sack full of pride]). You know, since I've been on my mission how much I've regretted that moment? The more I teach, testify, and tell--- whether through email, on the street or in someone's home, I've realized more and more that this mission is not my mission. This mission belongs to the Lord. My Savior, Jesus Christ. Want to know something interesting? Everyone of us has taken upon us the name of Jesus Christ. 

I am blessed to be being transformed by the power of the Atonement, and by the true miracle that my mission has been to me, but it hasn't been mine. It hasn't been my power or my miracle. It has been His. I hope that one day, you will all be able to see just how much you've blessed my life. I hope that each of you in your own way will be able to experience the blessings of the Miracle of this Mission. 

Story time: This week was Mission Leadership Council. That is where the zone leaders, the Sister Training Leaders, the Mission President, and yes, us, get together and discuss the needs of the mission. We've done our best to make it a council. Meaning, we hope that everyone comes in to the meeting determined to council on what we need, instead of just planning events, giving reports, and not changing anything. #badwardcouncilmeetings We really got into it this time because something here needs to change. It's about time our mission went from being "just a place and a thing I'm doing for 2 years" to "where I serve my God." 

So, we discussed the culture of the mission and how we wanted things to change. We talked about setting a mission vision. Well, someone commented that, "This mission already has a vision statement." I was leading the discussion at the time and blasphemy leapt out of my mouth before I ever had time to hope to stop it.... "To be honest, I've never read the Mission Vision Statement."

The room went very quiet.

President N inquired, "Never?"

Well, I had to be honest.

"Never." I said.

I've had it on every wall in every apartment that I've been in for the past 17 months. It's in my planner and my scriptures and I've never ever read it. 

Well, that's a very dumb thing.

After that we obviously discussed actually applying the vision of our mission and of who we want to become into our lives, but it was emphasized that we wouldn't be able to do it if we don't read it. 

I'm quickly repenting. 

But you know what that made me think of? My scriptures. How can we ever know what we have hope to become, unless we dig in and find out? God has created a vision statement for us, and it can't be understood in 1 read or 1 glance over. It takes a lifetime of study and searching before we can ever possibly hope to understand the truth of who we really are as children of God. We are blessed to have a God who has given us a vision of who we are truly capable of becoming, and how to get there.

I love you all. I love this Gospel. I know that it is His Gospel and that it is only contained in its fullness in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 

I hope you all will seek His vision for you.

Rock on. Peace. Love. And Temple Marriage.

In that order.

Elder Hill

Tracting Really Isn't That Bad -- 6 January 2014

The past week has been very good. Transfers were crazy, of course, and the aftermath is always full of drama and difficulty, but I'm learning a lot from the experiences that I've been having. 

We were on exchanges in downtown Calgary a few days ago. We participated in a Zone activity where we blitzed someone's area. It was very successful. One guy we ran in to said, "The Mormons! I've been wondering when you guys would come by!" My friends, there a people who are just waiting to receive the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

Elder C got the flu this weekend, so he's been asleep a lot, which means we've been in the apartment a little longer for the past few mornings. That's been alright. I no longer feel sleep deprived (I can only study for so long without falling asleep) and I've been feeling a lot better because of that. 

I was at church yesterday with Elder L, which you may remember from my MTC group. He just purged into an area and I was on an exchange with him yesterday. My goodness.... is the ward he is in ever so solid... so solid!!!! It's insane! Sometimes you wonder what it takes... well, they came up to us and were introducing themselves, they took the non-members and helped them through church, they talked with us about friends they wanted to invite to church, grown men stood up and bore their testimonies outside of the bishopric, and the elders quorum lesson was incredible! I really hope someday to be one of those guys that you can always depend on to do what Christ would do. 

Well, I know this one has been short, but you know what I know: the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored in it's fullness to the earth by the prophet Joseph Smith. There is evidence of that restoration known as the Book of Mormon, which I have come to know is true by the power of the Holy Ghost. And as a representative of Jesus Christ, I invite you, all of you to read the Book of Mormon, and find out if Christ himself will not be manifested in your life as a result of its contents. 

I love you all.

Peace. Love. And Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

Tell Me a Story of Jesus -- 3 January 2014

Okay, I'm going to be trying to revamp my emails and journal writing because I saw this picture on LDS.org.

In the grand scheme of things, this is all about sharing blessings with you, and not necessarily my thoughts or the things I've learned. So, I'm going to tell you about the blessings. :D and That actually takes away a lot of the stress of writing an email (which I've never been very good at--or journal writing for that matter...)

This past week was transfers which often means a lot of long hours (longer than regular missionary schedule), a lot of stress (as if it isn't stressful enough) and a huge work load. Well, the blessing that I would like to highlight in all of this is the blessing of having a companion, especially my companion. 

Our transfer day is very busy, we wake up early (before six thirty is what is known as early on a  mission) and head over to the mission home, where we do a brief training and eat with the new missionaries, we then head over to the Willow Park Chapel (about 2 blocks down the road from the mission home) and begin organizing. We park the van and trailer on the south side and the missionaries who will be traveling to Lethbridge show up and load their luggage and themselves into the van or trailer. Then, as soon as they have everyone loaded they begin the drive south. This round, President Nicholas and I managed what was going on inside the building as my companion managed what was going on outside.

So, we ran the transfer in the building, announcing new companions and areas, then we headed south together. When we got to the next transfer station, Elder Crapo already had everyone in the chapel quietly listening to prelude music (let me tell you, it's a feat!!!). He had gotten there, and assigned people to unload the trailer then got to work gettting everyone inside. When we got there, we went inside and began the transfer as he finished loading what was going North and then went to Calgary. President and I ran the transfer and then ran North again, and when we got there, he was already unloading the trailer and almost everyone was in the chapel waiting for us. We immediately began the transfer and finished up for the day. It was very smooth and very very well done, and all because Elder Crapo was running ahead and doing his part. It's incredible to see how such a simple thing makes everything go smoothly. 

Last night I had the opportunity to go on exchanges in my very first area. The Elders that I went with were asking me what to do to help less-actives progress in the Gospel. They asked very specific questions and I asked who they were working with, they said, "His name is John." (name has been changed for privacy purposes) and I was like, "I love John!!!!!!" So we flipped the van around (yep, I drive a minivan :) don't hate, just appreciate) and drove to John's house. He and His wife were there. They recognized me and let us in. I immediately began to talk with John his life and how he was doing, what his interests were and what he wanted to do and be. Fortunately, it all related well with a message of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I ended up asking him for help in my personal life, and how he would go about dealing with struggles and problems that I am personally having. He bore his testimony to me, and identified things that he needed to be doing in his life to overcome what he is struggling with. We then extended an invitation to him and closed the lesson. It was excellent. It was a testimony to me that the Lord puts us in the paths of people who need our help, they need someone to love them and to appreciate them. I've found that God very seldom will make anything we do for Him convenient or easy for us, but He will always bless us for reaching out to His children. 

I know that my Savior has been sent to the earth to Redeem mankind from tehir sins and mistakes. I testify that our shame and guilt can be swept away by the power of the Atonement which He performed. I testify that God needs us to be anxiously engaged in a good cause, He needs us for the sake of those we love. All around us are people to bless, encouage, lift, and inspire. He is ready to give us the tools to do it. What He needs is your strengths and your weaknesses, this is a "take you as you are" kind of Gospel. I know that when we do as he asks, we are blessed with the ability to do more, and to be more. 

I love you all so much. Sorry this was a rocky email, they'll get better, I'm sure.

Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

Recovery Mode -- 24 December 2013

To be honest with you, I would love to just put that subject line on every email I send home. 

It's been really really good for me to hear from my friends and family serving in other missions around the world, whether that mission has been the Home mission or the Chicago, Philippines, Peruvian, Seattle, Mesa, New York or otherwise. There's a light and fire especially found in new missionaries. They, of all the missionaries in the world seem to understand the mission the best. Just like a child in our lives, new missionaries see their purpose clearly, they understand their love for others and the love that their Father has for them, and that's all that they need. It's all any of us really need. 

Sometimes God puts leaders in leadership positions because he knows he needs to watch them the closest. :D 

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

This week was good. We've been on approximately 1,000,000,000 exchanges and feel incredibly sleep deprived. Other that that we learned a lot from the missionaries that we were supposed to be "Training."

Have a good week.

Merry Christmas!

Peace. Love. Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

16 December 2013

Let's start out with where I am. I am good. There you have it. You know how I came to that conclusion?

I chose it. 

Did you know Elder Bednar came to the mission? It's a true story, he really did. He was here on Saturday, may I tell you a little about my experience? Well, I was asked to conduct the meeting, Elder Bednar came in and sat down next to my companion, Elder Crapo and I and said, "Alright, Elders, are we ready?" I responded, "Yes we are." He said, "Alright, let's go to church."

:D I stood up and began the meeting, I messed it up completely, but we got a good laugh out of my nervousness, so it was okay. :) 

Elder Bednar is a genius. He knows. And I know, not in the same way that he does. He has a perfect knowledge, mine is just limited to my experience, but you know what, His knowledge doesn't cheapen mine. You know what? It doesn't cheapen yours either. 

Your testimony is the most powerful building block of your life. It is the light within you that teaches you what is most important in your life. It is that light that connects you with your Father, and pulls you away from the Darkness when it seems there is no light. Sometimes we struggle with our testimonies, sometimes we are more interested in pleasing ourselves or others than in pleasing our God, but... my friends, the reality is those choices won't bring anything in the eternities. The Light within you, the one that never dies, is the beacon we must follow. 

Trust the knowledge that you do have. It is enough, and it will grow. Believe in what you feel inside. Trust your God. 

I love you all so much. I don't really know what to say this week, as you can probably tell, but don't worry, there will be stories and more when you ask me after my mission.

Rock on. Peace, love and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

When Christmas Comes to Town -- 9 December 2013

Do you remember the story of How the Grinch Stole Christmas?

I hope so, do you remember the part where the Grinch's heart grows 3 sizes that day?

Well, that's what Christmas really does for us... in fact, it's what Christ does for us. 

Yesterday I had the opportunity to give a talk in church and they didn't give me a topic to speak on. Well, I studied and I studied and I couldn't figure out what it was I was supposed to say, I had a million things written down, and nothing that seemed quite right... well, I was sitting at the podium and the member next to me said, "What's your topic?" and I said, "I don't know... they didn't give me one." She responded, "They didn't give me one either! I'm going to give a talk on Enduring to the End, what are you going to talk about?" And I said, "I honestly don't know. I've done everything that I can, and I'm just going to have to trust that God is going to say it." She looked at me and said, "You didn't prepare anything?" I said, "No, I've been preparing since they called me, I just don't know what I'm going to say."

Well, I gave the talk, and ended up speaking about believing in Christ, and what that belief does for us. I told a lot of stories, shared a lot of scriptures, and taught the doctrine. I remember a little bit about what I said... but mostly I remember the feeling. You guys, when I testify of Christ, I feel like it's Christmas. I feel like it's summer. I feel like I'm in warm rain... I feel like I'm being held and whispered to by my savior, just like a mother would do for her small child bearing their testimony. Jesus Christ helps us, he heals us, we can trust Him. It's almost too wonderful to believe, but he really does put into our minds and hearts what to say. I love Him. I'm so grateful that He cares enough to put the words in that He promises. 

I love you all so much.

Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

Just emailing... 2 December 2013

Brother P is a good man. He's really really smart. (Note from Mom:  We met Bro. P in our ward yesterday.)

Today there's quite a storm brewing outside. We've already had a car accident today, so cars are parked. Meaning, we walked to the office this morning. It took almost an hour, and it was cold, but it was also good. After my slightly depressing couple of weeks, I've decided that I need to get back into Cardio, make healthy meals a priority, and take lots of vitamin D. :D So I woke up early this morning and did 15 minutes of Spartacus (a superset workout that kills your legs and chest) which got me breathing hard, then did Biceps and Triceps on the weights at the missionaries home next door. It was a mess, but I feel really good right now. I know that fitness doesn't solve every problem,  but it helps a ton. It was really really nice. 

Tomorrow we will begin our second round of Zone Conferences. Last week was a huge success. We've really felt like the things that we're teaching are actually helping the missionaries improve in their skill as missionaries. We've been teaching about Doctrines and Principles. Then we've been showing them how Doctrines and Principles apply to their work, and then we let them practice. It just makes a lot of sense when it's explained this way. 

I wish I had understood the importance of these things before my mission. It would have helped me to answer the temptations that came my way. I feel that sometimes we believe we are asked to do things "just because." It's nice to know that there is doctrine and reasoning behind the Laws, commandments, covenants, and promises we make. 

The commandments were all things that I could tell you about, what they were, and even why they were there. But they were never internalized until I actually taught them and lived them passionately, seeking to really understand why they were there and how they applied to me. That's the real secret of this Gospel, is when it comes to God, you never know until you try Him. It's ironic to say, because you don't want people to use it as an excuse to do bad things. We should always test the good long before the bad, and we should give it a fair chance.

That is the magic of invitations. We invite people to do good. To read the Book of Mormon daily, until you're all the way through. To pray until you receive an answer, daily. You don't ever give up half way just because it doesn't seem to suit your fancy. Naaman, from the Old Testament, was told to wash 7 times in the river Jordan. Can you imagine what would have happened if he had gotten sick of washing himself at 6? Just because it was inconvenient, or just didn't seem to be working? Notice that God didn't heal him from his leprosy until he had already done everything he was asked to do. 

Sometimes we stand wondering, "Why has God answered them, but not me?" Or someone may say, "Yes, I read from the Book of Mormon and I prayed about it, but I didn't get an answer." Why? One reason, they didn't try hard enough. We have to want things, we have to actually want them enough to give them our all. Naaman almost didn't do what he was told. He would have died! But he was reminded of his desire, his servant came to him and whispered, "My father, if the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldst thou not have done it?" 

What are we willing to give to know God? Some say, "I would die for my God." Well, that isn't the real test, as Naaman demonstrates. President Monson has taught, "Courage becomes a worthwhile virtue when it is regarded not so much as a willingness to die manfully but as a determination to live decently." The true test of mortality is the test of our willingness to live as Christ would have us live, to do the small and simple things that change our lives every day. 

So, seek Him out like you mean it. You will understand the doctrine as you live it. Understanding comes by the Spirit. Ask, seek, knock. Let Him open the doors to you.

I just went off there, but it's true. 

So what are the Doctrines of the Gospel?

https://www.lds.org/youth/learn/guidebook/doctrinal?lang=eng

15 November 2013

Today, I've learned a little bit about love.

Sometimes it's really hard to see God's love for us. Maybe we're burdened by sin, or maybe we're burdened through repentance. We often may feel, for several reasons that we're not good enough... or just simply that we're not enough. Or maybe that we'll never be enough. 

I wonder if we truly know the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ? Did you know that no matter how dark your past, your future can be clear as noon day? Did you know that your sins, if followed by repentance, will never impede you from having a great relationship with your Savior? Did you know that you will never be left alone? Did you know that if you are struggling physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually, you can be healed? I think often of someone that I met while on an exchange in High River. His eyes were kind of glazed over, and he wasn't very happy... He was hurting, and his demeanor suggested that for some reason, he was broken. I found out later in the lesson that he had some kind of mental struggle. 

As we taught him, an incredible thing happened. The greater the Spirit became in the room, the better he was able to communicate with us. Then we shared a song with him, and it's like his heart unlocked, his eyes cleared and he began to express how much he loved his Father in Heaven. He could speak with us, and express Himself, still not entirely perfectly, but the spirit we could feel in that room was incredible.. and the love that we could feel... was nearly unbelievable, and I wouldn't have been able to comprehend it if I hadn't felt it. 

Well, I know that this is what God does for each of us when we seek after the Spirit, His love eminates into us and enables us to truly live our potential. It is love that changes us. Love that shapes us. Love that gives us reasons to live. It is love that gives us the courage to conquer sin, opposition, temptation, fear, distress, and darkness. I know that if you will express love to everyone you meet you will see a change in your life.

I know God loves you. Just as He loves me. I know it. 

Peace. Love. And Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

Called of God -- 4 November 2013

I don't know that I've ever mentioned how great of a blessing it is to be a Servant of the Lord, have I? :D I probably have, but in case you are wondering, it's the best calling any man could have. 

We had MLC last week. Well, the night before, we (me, my companion, and our mission president) counseled on what we wanted to cover in MLC, we decided we were going to change it up. It was going to be a full on council. The whole time. Meaning we were going to spend the whole time just counciling. I hope that makes sense.

Well, after going over the business, we began the first council, and it covered everything we planned to bring up. MLC ended up going 2 hours longer than intended, but it was well worth it. It's amazing how God just worked through us to help it happen. 

I don't have much time, and I struggled to know what to say today, and I still don't know... and I've run out of time. But I love you. I love you all so much. 

I know this Gospel is true. I know you hear that from missionaries all the time, especially this one. But really... really. If you don't know that for yourself you are missing out on the greatest measure of joy you can obtain in this life. I know that's bold, strong language, but I love you. I want you to know that God does exist. He loves you! He wants you to come unto Him and to really live. To truly feel and experience this life and the next to its fullest measure, and I promise you that the work and pain of repentance is well worth it. You all know me. You know I've made mistakes... but there has never been a happier me. Ever. And there's more, waiting for me. I know there is, I can feel it. See it. Taste it. It tastes like Home. and it feels like Him. 

I love you all so much. Please find something today that you can do to invite the Spirit into someone's life. I promise you that you will see God's hand today if you will.

Rock on. Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

The Hardest Part about the Office -- 28 October 2013

Having this calling has helped me to learn so much about the mission, about our roles as mission leaders, and about how to help and uplift other people It has been all about other Elders and Sisters... whether that means correction, or just loving support, it is all about them. It's pretty incredible to consider how much I've grown recently to love the missionaries within this stewardship... it's unreal the feelings that I experience as I strive to serve them. Those are feelings that I've had as a district leader, and a zone leader, but it's incredible to feel it for literally HUNDREDS of people... what a huge blessing. If I feel this way, I can only begin to imagine how President N

must feel... or President Monson... or our Father in Heaven. So much love, absolute unconditional love... you just feel so ready to help and serve... willing to do anything. And there are dumb missionaries, don't get me wrong, but how can you help but love and support them? It's easy to see the best in someone that you desire to see succeed, especially when you, and they, are a part of the same God-sent work. I never feel I need to yell, or chastise, or make harsh remark, but any time correction is necessary, the Spirit always flows, and my love actually increases. (see D&C 121:34-46 for why that happens---it's pretty sweet)

But, aside from all the administrative tasks, and the correction, transfers, and all of those wonderful things that I am blessed to be a part of, there is something that happens in this calling which is really difficult to be a part of: Missionaries going home early. 

There's a lot that I could say... I could talk about how difficult a mission is, I might talk about the stress that we experience as missionaries, I should talk about the expectations that are set before us, or the age change, or the weaknesses that we carry, but I'm not worried about those things.... What is sad is taking a missionary to the airport, and having them in tears because they don't know what everyone else is going to think of them. 

As Elder Holland taught in his most recent general conference address, "Like a Broken Vessel," there are things that hit us and hurt us, that no measure of "bucking up" or "squaring shoulders" will truly solve. I fear when I hear people talking about missionaries who came home early, calling them "weak" or "not good enough" or "not worthy enough" saying, "If they would have just depended more on God, they would have been able to stay." 

Coming from a missionary who knows how it feels to be broken, lost, unworthy, imperfect, and kicking himself for not just being able to square his shoulders, trust God and get on with it.... an empty pit isn't filled by anything but pure love. My weaknesses are many... and almost every day at least for a moment or two I am reminded that I am not good enough... But it is the Love of God, of my companions, of my mission president, and of all of you, my friends, that has carried me. 

So, if you know someone who has come home early, in the mission or in life--- please love them. 

Whatever else you may or may not be able to provide, you can offer your prayers and you can give “love unfeigned.”⁸ “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; … [it] beareth all things, … hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.”

This kind of love extends far beyond what we could possibly comprehend. We have friends in our lives who are ready to go home. Maybe from their mission or on a different scale, from school, work, friendships, marriages, or their faith. Now, when they think of giving up, giving in, and going home, they don't need people who are going to criticize them... they need someone who is willing to love them and stick with them, because when we do this, we really support them, love them, help them, give them what we have, they grow. They are filled with the pure love of Christ, and they grow. 

Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed. While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind.

So, if you're someone who's struggling, please remember the following:

So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson said to the Relief Society sisters so movingly last Saturday evening: “That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.”⁴ Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart. Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. Take the sacrament every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.

I love you all so much. And I hope you know that I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. Maybe it will  take up a lot more than "bucking up" for you or for me, but no matter what it takes, Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven can and will help us. Do not give up. Do not give in. Trust Him. He is real. He is your Father. You are not alone. He will accept you no matter what. We had this thought earlier this week that I would like to share with you: "Stop worrying about where you are, or even where you've been, or what you will be, just focus on serving the Lord. We shouldn't feel guilty or pained because we aren't perfect, we shouldn't feel like we can never stand before God and be able to withstand Him, we should always feel like He LOVES US and He wants us to succeed, and HE DOESN'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR YOU TO GET THERE. He will help you if you are willing. He loves you, and He will do what it takes to get you there, stop worrying, He will take care of you---that is hope. That is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Repent  daily, but trust always that He will help you." 

Don't let your imperfections get you down. Got doesn't care how long you are imperfect for, He will accept and love you as long as you are honestly striving to do His will. And remember, what He requires is never more than you are willing to do. 

I love you I love you I love you.

Keep running, keep pushing, keep striving. Go ahead and square your shoulders. Trust that it will be okay, you will get through it, and if you don't, I'm still here. So will the Savior be. 

Rock on. Peace, Love, and Temple Marriage, in that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

It's snowing and I have a sweater!!