The First and the Final -- 29 July 2014

The strangest feelings ever. Weird thoughts. Deep fear. Abiding hope. Going home... what?

Hello, All! This will be my last email to you as a missionary....

I think there's a lot I should say... there's definitely a lot that I could say... just...

Don't rob yourself.

There. That's what I would say.

If you're serving a mission, don't miss a minute, not a single moment, because the end comes---so much faster than you could ever bear to want it to. I think That's been the harshest reality of the past few days, the reality of the end.

But it's not really over, is it?

No.

Honestly, when I'm home, you may not recognize me. You may not know who I am anymore, and I think that's okay. Maybe you won't like who I've become, or how I act differently. You might be surprised by my testimony, my maturity (one way or another), or how I look. I am different than before, you know---the things that were good are better. The things that were bad are slowly departing, and two years is a long time for medication to work its wonders on the human soul.

This really doesn't make any sense... :) Haha

I've been asked a lot the past few weeks what the biggest lessons I've learned are. If I could list them they'd look like this (color coded for your benefit):

1. It doesn't matter nearly as much what you do as it does who you are, because who you are will completely determine what you do.

2. Jesus Christ is the Son of God---that statement is too overused and not well enough understood, but it is eternally significant---essential, and it is He who has determined who we could, and should be.

3. The most important thing you can do is be obedient to everything that God asks you to do.

4. If you live by the power of the Holy Ghost, you will become who you are meant to be and do what you ought to be doing.

5. God's plan is bigger than our plan, and if His plan is more important to us than our plan, we will be bigger than we could ever dream in this life and in the next.

6. Understanding the first 5 things, means understanding that "giving up" your favorite sins, weaknesses, broken mission rules, and incorrect behaviors is an essential step to achieving complete joy in this life and eternal life in the next.

7. We are the sum total of the choices that we make.

8. We are all gods with the potential of being a lot bigger in this life than we allow ourselves to be.

9. We have the ability to choose who we will become.

10. We are our only limitation to our potential.

I feel like if you get this, you get why I've grown the way I've grown. If you don't get it, study it, because it will change your life.

Finally, I just want to say that I know that God lives, that Jesus Christ performed the Atonement---that He is who He says He is.
I know by the power of the Holy Ghost that the Book of Mormon is true. Therefore, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is God's kingdom on the earth, and no man is capable of reaching heaven except through the authority that was restored to its first leaders through the prophet Joseph Smith---that authority, which came from Jesus Christ, is now held by Thomas S. Monson.

I will never forget or turn back.

I really really really love you all! See you soon.

Rock on. Believe Him.

Peace. Love. and Temple Marriage. In that order.

Your friend, servant, son, and brother,

Elder Taylor J. Hill

The Gift -- 21 July 2014

Today my cup feels a little like it's overflowing and a little like it is so empty.

Last night we went over to one of our investigator's homes. In the house there are 6 men. When we got there 3 of them were drunk, including our investigator. There was booze in their breath, eyes, speech, and walk... We went in, hoping to find one of them who was not quite so intoxicated (they're all potential investigators) and we sat down.  One of the brothers in the house commented to our investigator, "James (name changed), you are lucky to have people who love you. They come here because they love you. You are lucky."

You know, there is a lot that I could wish people to understand. I wish everyone understood the plan of salvation, or why having a family was such a blessing. I wish everyone understood that the book of mormon didn't take anything away from the bible. I wish everyone understood that the Gospel of Jesus Christ was restored, but if I had to pick and choose from one gift of understanding that I could possibly hope to help someone understand, it is that I am only ever there because I love them.

I do not ever want anyone to be confused about why I email, or talk, or do anything. I am obedient because I love you. I am an example because I love you. I am a friend because I love you. I am reliable because I love you. I preach the gospel because I love you. I speak of Christ in my emails instead of me because I love you.

1.      Love for Christ

2.      Love from Christ

3. Love like Christ

Nephi was asked by the Spirit the difficult question, "Knowest thou the condescension of God?"
Honestly, I doubt Nephi even understood the word condescension. But this is how he responded, 17 And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.
There is a gift that has been given to each of us. The gift that I have been experiencing every day of my mission---
16 ¶For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
I know this email maybe doesn't make a lot of sense... I know I don't always make a lot of sense... I know that I have my mistakes and faults and fears and wishes, and that my mistakes and wishes may be very different than yours, but if I could ask anyone to just understand one thing I would ask that they take the time to understand God's love. Love from Him. Love for Him. and Love like Him.
That is the true gift of missionary service, it is that we come to know God's love in God's way. I know that God lives. I know that He loves us. I know that he wants us to be happy. I know that I love Him. I know that I don't always show him my love the way I should. I know that He loves you, and if we will all turn to him, we will have his love in our hearts.

Q: So, Elder Hill, how do you feel about going home?
A: Honestly? Sometimes I'm excited, sometimes I'm just really sad, but mostly I just don't think about it very much. A scripture was once shared with me from the Doctrine and Covenants which in effect taught me to serve in every area like I'm never going to leave that area. To unpack my bags, settle in and work as though I'm going to be in that ward forever. It's the "middle of the mission" mentality. Heavenly Father has blessed me to not be very trunky, and to be able to focus on the work. I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for that.
Q: Don't lie, Elder Hill! We know when it's quiet and you're on your own, you are just singing for joy! Isn't there something your excited for?
A: :) Absolutely. There's a lot I'm excited for. I'm excited to see my family, to be with my brother, to hug my momma, to meet my Sisters' fiance and my new brother in law, to eat Cafe Rio (!), to go to the temple every week, to prove that I can live this gospel every day, to be there for my friends, to sleep (cause that hasn't happened in a long time), to run (and not be fat at weak), and to work on a car with my dad again. 

Rock on. Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

This Is Insane -- 14 July 2014

This is insane.

But it is so beautiful.

God is so great.

And I have grown so much.

And I'm still not done. :)

I wish somehow that we could all have a moment to talk... about life. About how you are, and about how much you are loved by me. I wish we could sit and talk about what you want and where you're going and how you plan to get there and we could sit and have it like good old times, because I wish every day that I could be there for you like you've all been there for me. But, Honestly, I think you all know what I would say to you if we were talking. :) If I could possibly have a moment with you, I would want you just to know how much I love you and that I've got your back.

I really love you all. I think you ought to know that I know that the gospel is true. That Jesus Christ is the Son of God. I have learned by the power of the Holy Ghost that the book of Mormon is true, and that that book as brought me closer to God and to my savior Jesus Christ than any other book, and that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is God's church and kingdom on the earth.

If you have anything you want to talk with me about, you are always welcome to email me. Always. In fact, I love hearing from you, no matter what.

I love you so much. I'll see you all soon.

Rock on. Peace. Love. and Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

Weddings, Weldings, Cows, and Calls -- 7 July 2014

Well, first item of business:  Congratulations to my older sister, Briana, who has just made the most important decision of her life in the right place, at the right time, with the right man. :)

My mission has taught me a lot about work. I've done farming, ranching, mechanical, and quite a few other forms of work. Missionary work is easy physically (as long as you do your 30 minutes of exercise and you stretch every time you work hard), but I'll tell you, the things we do for people!

Someday when I'm home and you're all asking me about my mission stories, you'll have to ask me about the time we tattooed cattle. I think I told you Elder S's (shout out!) analogy about how we find and how it relates to branding cattle. There's the easy way and the hard way. The hard way is wrestling them down one at a time and holding them there as they squirm. The easy way is putting them through a chute where you push them through one at a time and do it as they are pinned by a machine.

According to Elder S, when you find the hard way, you get covered in crap, you get kicked by cattle, and you are exhausted by the end of the day, but you feel like a cowboy (or a missionary). But, in my experience, when you push them through the chute, you still get covered in crap, you get kicked by cattle, and you are exhausted at the end of the day, and you feel like a cowboy. The difference is simply quantity.

You missionaries out there... feel free to consider the analogy and let me know what you come up with.

Life's good.

Maybe I've shared this story before, but it's something that I'm learning and I think is important to share. Maybe it's not even a true story, but it still teaches important truths.

In the 1500's there was a gentleman by the name of Hernan Cortes. You may know that our friend Cortes is responsible for the fall of (and the annihilation of) the Aztec empire.

There was a reason for this, he wasn't some genocidal maniac thirsting for the blood of a foreign nation, rather he was seeking for something else. Aztec treasure (I'm not saying that that justifies the genocide that happened, just focus on the symbolism and quit worrying about the details). Many others before Cortes had sought the wealth of the New World, but Cortes was exceptional. He understood something that nobody else did. As long as you leave a way back home, you'll never fight like you have nothing to go back to.

So, what did Cortes do? He burned the ships that could take them home. Burned the boats.

You can imagine that his men were either really discouraged or really really motivated. They must have immediately recognized that unless they conquered, they likely would not return home. So, they fought like they wanted victory more than anything else. Because they burned the boats behind them, they gave more than anyone else had given before.

Cortes, obviously, won the treasure.

Well, there's an awful lot that could be said about this, relating to missionary work and life, but I'd just like to share a quote from Elder Holland. "There is something in us, at least in too many of us, that particularly fails to forgive and forget earlier mistakes in life—either mistakes we ourselves have made or the mistakes of others. That is not good. It is not Christian. It stands in terrible opposition to the grandeur and majesty of the Atonement of Christ. To be tied to earlier mistakes—our own or other people’s—is the worst kind of wallowing in the past from which we are called to cease and desist....

Now, like the Anti-Nephi-Lehies of the Book of Mormon, bury your weapons of war, and leave them buried. Forgive, and do that which is harder than to forgive: Forget. And when it comes to mind again, forget it again.

You can remember just enough to avoid repeating the mistake, but then put the rest of it all on the dung heap Paul spoke of to those Philippians. Dismiss the destructive and keep dismissing it until the beauty of the Atonement of Christ has revealed to you your bright future and the bright future of your family and your friends and your neighbors. God doesn’t care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go. That is the thing Lot’s wife didn’t get—and neither did Laman and Lemuel and a host of others in the scriptures."

Our lives are things to be enjoyed, do yourself and others a favor. Burn the Boats. Leave the past in the past and just be who you ought to be. Be where you ought to be. And be there when you ought to be there. Leave the past behind you, and look forward with faith. Whether you're a trunky missionary, or one who is afraid to go home because you don't want to slip back into the past. Maybe you're hurting because of something that someone has done to you. Please, just let it go. Allow the Atonement to be yours. Allow Him in.

Burn the boats.

I love you all!

Rock on. Peace. Love. Temple Marriage. In that order.


Elder Hill

How High River Is Pushing Me -- 30 June 2014

Hello Everyone!

Here's a quote from Jeffrey R. Holland that I heard that I think you'll love.

"No, the good people, the strong people, dig down deeper and find a better way. Like Christ, they know that when it is hardest to be so is precisely the time you have to be at your best."

Okay, sometimes we come against things that seem to be harder than we can handle. Bigger than we can bear. Scarier than we seem to be able to muster the courage for. For me, pushing to the end of my mission hasn't been a trial, but I've often been tempted to just let my companion do his thing, cause I won't be here for much longer anyway.... No. I don't do that. I don't quit. I don't fear digging deeper. Trying harder. Being bolder, and bigger, and better. I'm not going to lay down and give up.

Let's be honest though, we all have a lot of weaknesses. Frankly we often don't have the strength, the energy to keep pushing when it just always feels like we are forever draining our cup into so many different resources. How is it possible to continue to give when we have literally not been fed enough?

Ether 12:27

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

So, what am I learning? Well, sometimes we are tempted to just take the easy way out---to give into temptation, to just let go and let it all just land instead of faithfully pressing forward. For example: not going to church one week, Or not reading your scriptures today. Maybe the temptation is to do something dark, that would spiritually cripple you. Maybe it's to give up on the Church---the only true and living church on the earth---on God, or on ourselves, believing that we have found something better, something more convenient, or just that we don't want to have to deal with the hardship of it all anymore. Any of these things because we just don't feel like we can do it anymore.

Remember, "The strong people dig down deeper and find a better way." Whenever life does get hard we can dig deeper. Those moments when you don't have anything left to give are the same moments that usually require your best---and it is Christ that will provide that strength for you. That is the power of Grace. It is the power of His atonement that grants us the strength to be who we want to become, and do what must always be done. So, who are the strong people? Anyone who will turn to Christ. Who will trust Him. Who will believe Him.

Please, if you are considering giving up, I know you better than that. Dig down deeper, and find a better way.

He is the Way. The Truth and the Life. 

I love you all soooo much. Keep going. Don't you quit.

Rock on. Peace. Love. and Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

That Awkward Moment when You Realize You Actually Understand the Priesthood and Priesthood Keys -- 23 June 2014

I was wondering if that one would ever come :) I guess that's what happens when you study :)

Hello everyone! I have been transferred from beautiful British Colombia to the wonderful area of High River. Back in the Foothills Zone. I thought I had knocked it out, but I suppose it's time for round 3. Let's be honest. It really doesn't stand a chance this time. I'm faster, stronger, more faithful, and unafraid. Let's rock.

I'm serving with my mission grandson!!!! His name is Elder H and he's a fireball! I love it! He's a great worker and a phoenominal teacher. We're going to turn High River inside out (it's already inside out---remember the floods a year ago?). We're also serving along side Sister Missionaries in the area. We've created a plan to work together in making things happen, instead of dividing up the work. They are amazing. I can't believe just how blessed I am to be here.

My thought this week has to do with Charity. This morning I was studying D&C 121 34-46. This section is probably best known for the common place phrases in verses 7-9, which are God's promise to Joseph Smith that He will never leave him alone. The verses following are some of the best verses of scripture in my opinion, but as you make it to 34-46 God teaches the priesthood probably its most important lesson.

I've read this section many many many times on my mission. But I learned something interesting today. It says,

 34 Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?

 35 Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, ---- 

I got to this point and thought, "I know people like this." Suddenly my world halted and I realized what had just crossed my mind. What was I doing? I don't have the right to put others down like that! Many familiar scriptures came to my mind about judging. Especially judging righteously.

Remember the mote and beam analogy in Matt 7?

After I realized this I realized what had happened to my priesthood power...

So, my thought is simply this, sometimes we accuse others of being something. Some times they really are that something or that someone, however. We have been admonished to be bigger than that. How do we do it in the moment? Well, we recognize that we are just as guilty as they are. We've probably had the past mistakes. We remember the mercy of Christ in forgiving us for those mistakes. And we forsake our own past, deciding within ourselves to also forgive the one we are confronted with. Then, as we follow the rest of the counsel in d&c 121 34-46 we are given priesthood power to do what he needs us to do to help others.

This is just a quick thought cause I only have a few seconds left, but I love you and I invite you all to read this section and figure out what you can do to be closer to your savior.

I love you all!

Rock on! Peace, love, and temple marriage.  In that order.

My Commission, My Position, and My Salvation (confidence in Christ) -- 17 June 2014

Dear Everyone that I love,

I have a few different thoughts today. Many of which come from my heart and not from any little known facts about mortality or scriptural knowledge, but first I have something to say about missionary work.

If God has asked or called you to do something, He gives you the power to do it. But it takes commitment. That is why success as a missionary is defined in Preach My Gospel as commitment. Which is why missionaries in Russia that never even get to teach a single lesson 1 on their missions still come home stronger than they've ever been before. They come home sanctified, and converted unto the Lord---because they did what they were called to do. That said; is it no small coincidence that the Lord said in D&C 18: 10, 14-16

10 Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;

14 Wherefore, you are called to cry repentance unto this people.

15 And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!

16 And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!

For some missionaries that "one soul" is the only one they can really control.

I'm not going to stop there, though. Because I don't believe that God would drag me all the way to Canada to serve a mission, do His work, and give everything that I have and not have the joy of seeing others come into the Gospel. Doctrine and Covenants section 43 verses 15-16 say:

15 Again I say, hearken ye elders of my church, whom I have appointed: Ye are not sent forth to be taught, but to teach the children of men the things which I have put into your hands by the power of my Spirit;

16 And ye are to be taught from on high. Sanctify yourselves and ye shall be endowed with power, that ye may give even as I have spoken.

In other words, we are not here to be the ones who are taught and converted, though that will happen because we are taught from on high---we are here to teach. Thus the field is white already to harvest. Harvest. Surely the Lord is preparing the people of this world to receive the Gospel. The whole world. In every mission. Everywhere. In fact, He won't even come until the Gospel has been preached to every nation kindred tongue and people.

Are you saying, Elder Hill, that everyone is called to baptize?

Yes, yes I am.

Well, how, Elder Hill, How? 

Short answer: Get out of the way. Be the pure fibre optic cable through which God can shine his light into the hearts of those you will come into contact with. Don't be the messenger who looks through the cable themselves and tries to describe what is on the other side---that's not enough. Be the cable. Get out of the way. Thus, "...Sanctify yourselves and ye shall be endowed with power [to do my work], that ye may give even as I have spoken.

That's my rant. I love this Gospel, and I love every missionary in the world, especially all of you, and I want you to know that the power is in you to do all things which the Lord hath commanded you. You were born to lead. You were born for Glory. You are His children, and therefore His heirs. You have the right to fulfill your purpose as you are faithful. You are more powerful than you dare yet believe---please don't sell yourselves short of that endowment of power that I know  you have been given. 

*sigh* :) I love you so much. :D Soooo much. You have no idea how much I love you.

Other than that, last night I got a phone call from my mission president. This close to transfers, that's not abnormal.

"Elder Hill, what do you want to do for your last 6 weeks?"

"Whatever the Lord wants me to do, President."

"Well, tomorrow you'll be getting a notice for transfer. I'm going to assign you to be a district leader, can you do that?"

":) Yes, I think I can handle that."

"Good, I think so, too."

So, that's what's happening this transfer. So, I got an email this morning telling me I'm going to Calgary somewhere. Pack the bags. :) Rock on.

Finally, the last business... I was on the phone earlier this week with President N, because I was looking for some guidance.... You see, I've done some bad things in my life...I'm guilty of being loaded with mistakes and sins. I'm not dumb enough to believe that mine are worse than yours or that yours are worse than mine, but I've recently been so bothered by my past that I've felt that I'm just not worthy of any good thing that God will give me. You can imagine how this could hold me back in my progress.

President shared something with me in that conversation that I would like to share with all of you.

Sometimes we do something terrible and we don't feel forgiveness in the way we want it, but if we have done all we ought to do, our next step is to trust Him. Wholeheartedly. Completely. Without reservation. Remember the story of King Lamoni's father? He was going to kill Ammon, and then Ammon held him at sword point and the king began to cry, and fear. He then offered Ammon half of his kingdom if he would spare his life. Later Aaron taught him. And after learning of God he said, "O God, Aaron hath told me that there is a God; and if there is a God, and if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee, and that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day"He went from being willing to only give half of all he possessed for his life, to being willing to give away all of his sins. That's a complete change in who he is, how he thinks, and what he desires.

So, that was the message. If we really have faith in God, we will give Him everything. Including all our doubts about His gospel, His existence, or even our standing before Him. If we have faith in Him, then we would "Doubt our doubts [about where we stand with Him,] before we doubt our faith [that He will save us]."

You know and I know that I'm so much less than perfect. The good news of the gospel covenant is not that Christ will save the perfect people, but that He will---does---has---can save the imperfect ones. If you are willing to do all that He asks, then He will do his part.

So, that's my testimony. I'm on the Gospel train with both hands. I'm trusting Him all the way. I believe that as I do so that God will ensure my return into His presence as an exalted being with the ones that I love by my side. I believe that He will save us. I believe Him. I am choosing to believe that He will accept me---including the dark lines in my personal marble egg that really, truly, do make us all beautiful.

I love you all ssoooooo much. Please, accept these truths, and live them.

Then, Rock on. Peace. Love. And Temple Marriage.

In that order.

:) Elder Hill

Zone Conference

Thinking of Being Small -- 9 June 2014

When I was little I was always guilty of coming up with great ideas like, "Let's go get ice cream!" My siblings and I would scream, "You'll scream, I'll scream, we'll all scream for ice cream!!!" And we'd skip up the stairs in a beautiful harmonious line, skipping and singing with joy, only for our worlds to come to  a screeching halt as we all realized, "Someone's got to be the one to ask...."

You all know that conversation. "I'm not going to ask, you ask!" "I'm too scared to ask, you ask!" "Well... I don't really want ice cream that much anyway..." Until the youngest (who has the most courage, because---let's be honest---he was still cute, and the rest of us were no longer toddlers), Landon, would pipe up and say, "I'll ask!"

And so, we would all timidly creep as a small children's group into our parent's room where we would shove our little brother forward and huddle behind him with the bravest scaredest, smiles we could muster. And he would do what little brothers do, fidget his little hands, look at the ground,  shuffle around, and say, "Um mom, dad um we were um wondering...."

"Yes?" the reply would come.

"Um... could we please... um.... go get some um...ice cream, please?"

:) Come on, mom and dad, how on earth did you resist that?

I don't know, but this week has been good. I've been sick for a few weeks battling tonsillitis, a cold, and some fever, but I seem to finally be pulling out of it. It's hard to sit in the apartment, and it's even hard to work when your exhausted from being sick. It ruins your sleep schedule and you find yourself fighting that age-old missionary battle---will you wake up at 6:30? Well, yes. Yes I will, even if it kills me. Stupid Satan. I really don't like that guy.

Since I've been here we've been working with this potential investigator. We've invited her to church, done service for her, offered to teach her, received 2 referrals from her, and she just hasn't done anything for her own progression. So, we've developed a pretty good relationship with her anyway, despite the fact that she hasn't been responding to our constant invitations. So, we figured we'd try again. We invited her to church after going over and helping to trim her lilac's (a job that I will probably be doing for the rest of my life---thanks mom for teaching me). Then she said, "Sure, where is it?"

My heart almost stopped as I joyously gave her the information for church and excitedly learned 2 simple lessons, 1. People are a lot more likely to accept invitations that come from someone who they know genuinely loves and cares about them than they are from the stranger on the street, and 2. Persistent follow up is key. The worst they can say is no, right?

Which leads me back to the story of asking mom and dad for ice cream. :D I don't think I was scared of mom and dad. I think I was scared of hearing "No." That word makes my heart break when it relates to ice cream, chocolate chip cookies, and girls. However, when it comes to missionary work, the word "No" doesn't scare me so much. Of course it still breaks my heart, but true missionary work actually begins. When I invite someone to be baptized, to come to church, to learn... when they say, "No." I have learned that one of the greatest acts of love that any of us can perform is to be the one that asks, "Why not?" and then doesn't give up just because they were let down once. True love doesn't quit. Charity never faileth.

And, it helps to be cute when you extend invitations.

That was a joke---it doesn't help that much.

I love you all!

Rock on! Peace! Love! and Temple Marriage! In that order

Elder Hill

"Uh-Oh" -- 2 June 2014

"What?"
"Elder Hill found something in the Scriptures that has never clicked before....."

"And?"

"I'm never going to hear the end of it..."

Are you ready? :D

Moses chapter six begins by laying out the generations of Adam down to his great great great great grandson Enoch. You know Enoch? Righteous guy, had a city, all went up into heaven? Yeah, that guy. Well, in this chapter, God calls Enoch to be a Prophet. Saying :
27 And he heard a voice from heaven, saying: Enoch, my son, prophesy unto this people, and say unto them—Repent, for thus saith the Lord: I am angry with this people, and my fierce anger is kindled against them; for their hearts have waxed hard, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes cannot see afar off;
28 And for these many generations, ever since the day that I created them, have they gone astray, and have denied me, and have sought their own counsels in the dark; and in their own abominations have they devised murder, and have not kept the commandments, which I gave unto their father, Adam.
29 Wherefore, they have foresworn themselves, and, by their oaths, they have brought upon themselves death; and a hell I have prepared for them, if they repent not;
30 And this is a decree, which I have sent forth in the beginning of the world, from my own mouth, from the foundation thereof, and by the mouths of my servants, thy fathers, have I decreed it, even as it shall be sent forth in the world, unto the ends thereof.

That's all gotta be hard.Can you imagine being the guy that has to say all of that? the bible dictionary explains the role of an old testament prophet:

The work of a Hebrew prophet was to act as God’s messenger and make known God’s will. The message was usually prefaced with the words “Thus saith Jehovah.” He taught men about God’s character, showing the full meaning of His dealings with Israel in the past. It was therefore part of the prophetic office to preserve and edit the records of the nation’s history; and such historical books as Joshua, Judges, 1 and 2 Samuel, 1 and 2 Kings were known by the Jews as the former Prophets. It was also the prophet’s duty to denounce sin and foretell its punishment and to redress, so far as he could, both public and private wrongs. He was to be, above all, a preacher of righteousness. When the people had fallen away from a true faith in Jehovah, the prophets had to try to restore that faith and remove false views about the character of God and the nature of the divine requirement.

That is quite the call.

At this point you're saying (if you've actually read this far---if so I congratulate you and will owe you a hug), "Elder Hill, this is all really nice boring information, why are you geeking out about it?"

Well, because of how Enoch responds.

31 And when Enoch had heard these words, he bowed himself to the earth, before the Lord, and spake before the Lord, saying: Why is it that I have found favor in thy sight, and am but a lad, and all the people hate me; for I am slow of speech; wherefore am I thy servant?

In other words, "God, why me? I'm just a kid, just a social reject who can barely even talk, why would you want someone like me to be your servant?" or maybe more simply "God, I can't. I don't see it in me. You don't want me."

Well, does that sound familiar to you? Does it ever sound like your own voice? It sure does like mine, "I'm just a 21 year old kid! I can't even figure out how to follow the spirit well, and I don't know the bible. I'm scared, this is hard! The people here hate us... why would you put me here? Why would you choose me?" Not just from a missionary perspective, but I'm sure similar woes have been lamented by anyone who has ever held a calling that seemed even for a moment like a little too much for them to bear. Maybe motherhood or fatherhood can feel like too much. I'm sure there isn't an ocean big enough to hold the tears of righteous mothers all around the world who feel the weight of their divinely commissioned call to serve in the most intimate capacity any woman can be called to. Add that to bearing the burden of discipleship. In addition to all of those things there are some here who have difficult family situations, friends or siblings who've gone astray, companions that are hard to work with---in short paths that no one wants to walk, and footsteps that no one would care to follow.

Isn't it sometimes a little too much to bear? Yes... it often feels beyond my own mortal capacity to stand again and again and fight for what I believe and desire to do, never mind the personal challenges and concerns that come just as a simple result of what I have been called to do.

Well, here the Lord gives a loving response to his fearful, frightened, under qualified son that I find very interesting:
32 And the Lord said unto Enoch: Go forth and do as I have commanded thee, and no man shall pierce thee. Open thy mouth, and it shall be filled, and I will give thee utterance, for all flesh is in my hands, and I will do as seemeth me good.
33 Say unto this people: Choose ye this day, to serve the Lord God who made you.
34 Behold my Spirit is upon you, wherefore all thy words will I justify; and the mountains shall flee before you, and the rivers shall turn from their course; and thou shalt abide in me, and I in you; therefore walk with me.

Or, "Do what I've asked, Enoch, and I promise it will work out. I will make it happen, just walk with me."

My dear friends, "God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can’t if you don’t pray, and He can’t if you don’t dream. In short, He can’t if you don’t believe." (Jeffrey R. Holland, "This, the Greatest of All Dispensations" July 2007, Ensign)

Whom the Lord calls, He qualifies. If you have been asked or called---whether by your priesthood leader, by God, or simply by the walks of life---to do something that you feel is beyond your capacity I promise you that God will help you as you stand in holy places. He promises that He "will go before your face. [He] will be on your right hand and on your left, and [His] Spirit shall be in your hearts, and [His] angels round about you, to bear you up." (D&C 84:88)

23 Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me. (D&C 19:23)

Walk with Him. I promise you that you will never ever be let down in the Lord's service. He will be with you. He will fight with you. He will never leave you alone to fall.

Stand.

I love you all!

Rock on. Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

No Excerpts This Time -- 26 May 2014

Yesterday I was sitting in Sacrament meeting watching a few families take care of their kids. As I watched little kids take the sacrament, I wondered, "Why do they even need it? They aren't accountable..." Then I thought, "They've got to learn it somehow..."

If you know me much, you know that I probably spend a bit too much time in la-la land, but as I watched these families I began to think of what I wanted to do to someday teach my kids what the sacrament means. Now, I don't know a ton about little dudes, especially the really really really little ones (I can probably count on 1 hand how many times I've held babies... maybe it only actually takes a finger or two) but I think learning begins at the beginning (go figure). So, there I sat in la-la land imagining myself holding my first little dude. Imagining breaking off one tiny piece of bread, just little little little, and putting it in his (or her) mouth, whispering, "This is His body."       Somehow in that experience I had the strangest feeling that even though that future little dude would only be a few months old, he (or she) would understand exactly who I was talking about.

I snapped back to reality as the water began to be blessed, and I sat in simple awe as I contemplated the greatness of God, and my gratitude for what He has done for me. The water came to me only a few moments later and as I drank, I felt the Spirit whisper quietly, "This is His blood." And there I sat. His little one. His tiny tiny tiny little dude, learning the same lesson I was hoping to teach my child someday.

Oh, the blessings that have come into my life because the Savior allows and enables me to repent!

Repentance is simply confessing our sins (to God and to priesthood authority if needed) and promising to forsake them. When we do these things, we are filled with a desire to make them right. Let me tell you, the feeling of purity that comes from partaking of the sacrament worthily, having repented of everything I have ever done... it's addicting. It's incredible. It's powerful. It's one reason that I don't ever want to miss the sacrament.

"But Elder Hill, I can't remember everything bad I've ever done. How could I?"

My friend, if you honestly desire to repent, I invite you to put it to the test. Kneel down and ask the cover all----"Wilt thou please forgive me for everything I can't remember that I have done wrong?" and then, "Father, if there is anything that I have done wrong that needs to be repented of individually, wilt thou please bring it to my memory, so that I can make it right?" You will have things come to your mind, and as they do, you will need the courage to admit, "What I did was wrong." the courage to say, "I will fix this problem with the person I have wronged." actually intending to do it, and then have the courage to kneel back down once that is done and say, "I've done all I can, will you forgive me?" Don't be afraid to do this again and again.

If you do I promise in the name of Jesus Christ, as one of His representatives, that a new light will come into your life. Those you may have wronged along the way of your life will grow to love and respect you. You will feel closer to your Savior as you act upon those promptings. You will be more receptive to the feelings and impressions of the Holy Ghost. You will be a better missionary, a better friend, a better spouse, and a happier person in general. And if this process continues in your life, you will never again desire to miss Sacrament meeting.

After all, cleanliness is next to Godliness.

Thank you all for your love and support, I hope this helps.

Rock on. Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

p.s please don't think I'm mister perfect at this either, past emails are the evidence that that isn't true. Honestly even focusing in sacrament meeting is still a struggle for me, but if He can do it for me then He can do it for anyone in the world. I love you.

Always Growing -- 20 May 2014

Another Mission President Letter excerpt:

My family is doing well, I think. Life is moving forward at its own rate, but I'm doing the best I can to enjoy it here as long as I can. I continue to receive a lot of help and support from my family and my friends. I'm really glad I've been able to email my friends throughout my mission. Their emails, ideas, thoughts, and inspiration have really kept me afloat at times. There's definitely power in good friends.

I remember my first day in the mission, as I'm sure you do. We had had almost no sleep the night before, we missed our flights, we didn't end up at the mission home until almost 6 o'clock. We ate and ran to the church for our notice of first transfer meeting. I was barely awake, not really absorbing anything that was going on. Confused, grumpy, and still just hungry to have a good experience with the day. I knew then as well if not better than I know now that our success and reception to the Spirit are entire based on whether or not we would let it in. I remember being asked to bear my testimony---I didn't have much to say. Not because I didn't have a testimony---because I did, no doubt. But, maybe because at some point during that meeting I stopped worrying about what I thought, did, and desired... I only wanted to do and be what He wanted me to do and be. So, when I bore my testimony I'm sure it was only as simple as a sentence or two.

It wasn't the beginning. I think it started two weeks before I was set apart, testifying in front of the high council of what I knew and believed. Again, very simple... it was all I knew. Amazingly, all I knew then, is the same as all I know now. I know that God exists and that He loves us enough to give us first second and third and fourth chances through His son Jesus Christ. I am a product of second chances and the faith of a God in me.

Well, Hi everyone! I've really been searching and striving to do and be the best I can. On Saturday we only had one appointment (a dinner appointment) so guess what we did all day? What is Tracting and Street Contacting for 400? Ole. Interesting experience. As we were turning to return to our car (about a 45 minute walk away) we felt prompted to turn around. So... we did, we thought, "Maybe we were supposed to knock on this door, or that door.... or maybe there was someone else we missed?" So, we tried to listen to the spirit and be where we needed to be. Well, we ended up walking around the back side of the block back onto the main road probably only 300 feet from where we had stood 5 minutes earlier. We concluded that we just needed to go back toward our car, so, we again began to walk in that direction. Hold on I'll insert a visual aid.

​So, as we were on our way back to the car for the second time we were about to walk past this flea market, when we saw a few eccentric looking people. Me, being me, and liking anything that's even a little out of the ordinary, spoke up and complimented the animals on their heads and other feathered clothing with which they were adorned (I don't think there was any better way to say that). They (3) all smiled and accepted my compliment graciously. So, naturally, we brought up the gospel. They asked us why we did what we did. I told them a bit about how I gained my testimony and why I chose to serve a mission. The Spirit came and we were able to invite them to learn more (after we basically taught them the entire first lesson). We also offered a book of mormon.

Was good. They didn't accept, but you know what? The Spirit brought us there for a reason. I think that the Spirit prompted us to head toward our car again so that we would walk that way, and so we would talk with those people. I have no idea what kind of seeds we planted, but I know they were good. Miracles often feel small, but can have great impact on those we serve.

The Spirit prompts us and teaches us all in different ways, but I think the most common ways for me are just through my every day thoughts. He will often guide me using changing destinations, knowing that I will think "That's a great idea! Aren't I so smart?" Then on the way there, I'll have a prompting to stop and knock on this door, or talk with this person, or stop by this former investigator. And we will always end up where we need to be as we do so. kinda like....this.

Anyway, my testimony may be simple, but it is sure. I know God lives. I know he has given his son Jesus Christ for us. I believe in Him trust in Him. This is His work.

Love you!

Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

Happiness Is... -- 6 May 2014

Ice Cream. Laughter. Meaningful friendships. Powerful study. Tender mercies. Simple pleasures. The Spirit. Expressing yourself. Eating Chocolate Chip Cookies. Eating Sandwiches. Mexican food. Having purpose. Following Christ. Not being able to stand on your own. Giving it your all anyway. Falling. Standing back up. Having a testimony. Being looked after. Being prayed for. Praying for others. Trying to do your best. Rain. Rainbows. Sunshine. Hope. Feeling the love of God. Little dudes. My mom. My mission president. Never giving up. Standing between a rock and a hard place. Bearing witness. A companion who cares. Hoping it will work. Believing it will work. Having faith even when it doesn't work. Having a vision. Seeking the Hand of God. Following Christ. Doing His will. Courage. Fear. Being full. The piano. Singing. Knowing the hard things can be done. Enduring to the end. Repentance. My dad. My brother(s). The book of Mormon. Spiritual Guidance. Did I mention sandwiches and cookies?

Good morning my friends. How are you? Have you found a reason to celebrate lately? Such as: Chris' birthday, Star Wars day, Cinco de Mayo, being alive, getting married, etc? If not, I encourage you to find one. Not create one, but find something in your life that's worth celebrating.... "Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy."

This is another small paragraph from my letter to my mission president this week:

"This is dumb. I'm really honestly just tired of jumping back and forth from square 1 to square 99 over and over and over again. I don't know how to do this. Let's be honest, but I'm just done worrying about that. I'm so sick of the stress and never feeling like I'm good enough. I'm tired of wanting to give up but mentally just barging through my trials and challenges, convinced that I'm smart enough to handle them. This is Christ's work. Not mine. This is His power, not mine. So, if you're looking for me, I'll be back at square 1. If you're looking for Him, He'll be there with me. You'll probably find me on my knees... and you'll probably find Him right there with me. And when I stand up to do His work, it will be under His arm as this broken little child of God limps toward each door, and every other broken child, and invites them to stand under His arm with me."

So, if you're broken, join the club. And find reason to rejoice in the arms of the Savior. In the quoted words from a favorite talk of mine: "It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. . . . it is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever."

If you're looking for me, I'll be celebrating. :) All will be well, and I will be standing taller as I allow him to strengthen my feeble knees.

I love you all.

Rock on.

Peace, love, and temple marriage.

Elder Hill

Learning and Growing -- 28 April 2014

The past week has been one of work. Just honest hardcore missionary work. As my friend ex-elder Seth Sorenson would say, "When you work like that, at the end of the day you feel like a cowboy." It's true, by the time you're done, you're pooped. I'm trying to figure out how to mold both methods of work.

I'd like to share something with you that I sent to my mission president this week.
"I've really been having difficulty connecting myself to the work. I'm not trunky. I'm not "checked out." I'm just having a hard time putting myself in the work with a vision of WHY I'm doing it. Intellectually I understand, but it's not really emotionally connecting, as a result, the Spirit hasn't been as close as I would hope. I think this is a normal thing, if the rest of my mission is a judge. You aren't always driven by super-human power that pushes you to do incredible things. I've really been searching within myself---having to dig deep to just do it. Waking up on time, being obedient, etc. haven't been a problem, don't worry. But I think I have Elder K a little concerned because of some of the symptoms, I suppose of my struggles. Things like forgetting my watch, and not caring enough to grab it, and then being in an appointment for too long. Oh well, I'm going to keep searching, keep working, and keep trying for as long as it takes.

I had a chance to speak to the ward yesterday in Sacrament meeting. When I got there, I was only going to need to fill 10-15 minutes. As advised, I had prepared, but I hadn't come really with anything super specific, so that God could really do the speaking, and not me. Well, when I stood to speak I had 35 minutes to fill. That was a little intimidating, but not impossible by God's reckoning, I'm sure. So, I spoke for between 20-25 minutes and honestly felt like I had said everything I needed to. I testified and sat down, and the bishop called on a member to speak. She did an incredible job and said exactly what needed to be said in addition to everything that had already gone around.

My point of the story is simply that I know that God knows best. Sometimes the things we do can be very intimidating and difficult---scary even. But, if we will simply open our mouths, we can have the confidence that God will, and does fill them. He never leaves us alone or helpless. It's a lesson I've learned again and again.

I sure do love Him.... and I'm really trying... even though I fail a lot, I'm not going to give up. Ever."

You know, God didn't always promise that this life was going to be full of roses, but rather that he would equip us with the tools we needed to work through mistakes, suffering, and struggles we would endure. The promise he gave us, to strengthen us even so that we could not feel their burdens on our backs (see Mosiah 24:12-17). I don't want you to think that I'm some wise, all knowing, mature missionary who has the answers to every life question. I struggle. Often, but you know---I just can't find it in myself to ever give up. He didn't give up on me. So, yes it can be hard. And maybe I can struggle to be happy, positive, or motivated sometimes. And honestly, I don't know what you'll all think when you meet me again once I'm home... but what I know is that I will not stop trying to just be good, in the best way that I know how, and hopefully that will lead me to love more deeply, speak more purely, and all in all, be better than I've ever been before.

I know that Christ lives and that He loves us. He always keeps his promises.

So, Believe Him. Rock on. and you will have

Peace, love, and temple marriage. Probably in that order. :)

Elder Taylor J. Hill

Because of Him -- 21 April 2014

I don't know how many of you have seen that video... the one that I've attached at the bottom of the screen, but it is about the Savior, and it is amazing.

This week was a test of faith. Our mission released new Standards of Excellence which requires 3 hours of personal finding every day. I know for a lot of you out there, you're like, "Three hours? That's pansy work!" But in this mission, it's a lot. I've filled my time my whole mission doing phone calls, teaching less-actives, working with investigators (usu. from referrals or random miracles), and working with members. Personal finding was always the very last resort. Now, it's the number 1 priority. So, with my usual poorly girded attitude we hit the pavement this week, and on our first house found a new investigator. :) God telling me---"Don't worry, kid. I've got you. I always have, and I always will."

My attitude has rapidly changed. That doesn't necessarily mean I'm stoked about personal finding, but I know that whenever I do it, I will be blessed. More than that, I've learned a lot about who I really am. A little of my old self is creeping out as I begin contacting. I just get this urge to yell across the street and say, "What's up!?" or "Yo! I've got a seriously beautiful slice of awesome running in my hand here, you in?" Somehow, I don't think the old people of Creston could really handle that, but I bet if I was a little more willing to just be my best self, the same guy who could just walk up to anyone in Jamba Juice, Zupas, Cafe Rio, or even across the dance floor and just start talking, would be the guy who would have the most success in picking up investigators.

That said, sometimes when I contact, I feel like I have ulterior motives, like---"The only reason I'm talking with you right now is because I need to share the Gospel with you!" Instead of, "I honestly really love you and have genuine concern and desire for your overall happiness. I know this Gospel is true and I want to share it with you." While both are good desires, I think the latter is the preferred contact, simply because it is out of real love.

So, this is where I need your help---does anyone have suggestions about how I can better incorporate the love I do feel for people into the contacting we do?

I don't really know what else to say this week... other than that I know that God really does intend to change us. Our natures. Our whole selves. Really, when we consider what really is possible because of Him, we must begin to admit that our desires that stem as a result of our Savior's existence is to truly do and be the impossible. For me, I want to be a man---- not just like a big burly dude with chest hair and a beard---but a man. A real man. I don't really know how describe it other than an attitude and an understanding of knighthood. Chivalry. Dignity. Faith. Hope. Courageous. Yet, humble.... and not yielding to temptation or addiction. Bridled, and powerful in His priesthood. Magnifying and Glorifying God, and not himself. Well... that sounds like a big ticket, but if you're wondering what I desire because of Him---it's that. And I'm not afraid to dream big, because I know that my God is quite a bit bigger than all of that. After all, "God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can’t if you don’t pray, and He can’t if you don’t dream. In short, He can’t if you don’t believe."

I love you all. Dream big.

Believe Him.

And Rock on.

Peace. Love. Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

Almost Back to the "Green" -- 14 April 2014

Hello dear friends!

This week I've received a lot of welcome news from all of you. I hope you know that I love you and that I'm proud to know you!

I don't have a ton to say this week. BC is green, wonderful, and has helped me a lot be on the straight and narrow---so to speak.

So, without much further ado, I just want to testify. I believe in a Living Savior "who invites us to come unto him and be transformed." I love him. I have come to know him. I love His Father---my God---who has done everything in His power to save us. I know they are real. By the power of the holy ghost, I have learned the truthfulness of the things that I teach. That witness becomes ever more undeniable every time I teach the doctrine of Christ. I know there was a restoration---there was an apostasy but God has never given up on His children and He won't start now nor will he ever. His work with us will not end until He has saved every willing soul. He is in this for the long haul---and so am I.

I hope you know that if you need anything--- ANYTHING. You can count on this guy, right here---Elder Taylor J. Hill to help you out. And if I can't be there, I will find someone who can. And if they can't help---I know just the man.

I love you all.

Believe. Rock on. Peace. Love. Temple Marriage.

In that order.

Elder Hill

Let it begin; Of Courage, Callings, and Covenants and Of Heroes, Helpers, and Holiness -- 7 April 2014

I hope the Spirit will guide me as I email this week.

The past 2 weeks have been an interesting turn in my mission life. It's certainly been an adventure, going from a lot of administrative duty to being actively engaged in an area again without much leadership responsibility at all. I keep finding things that can be done and thinking of ways to do them, then realizing that it's neither in my job or my stewardship, so trying to be productive has been an issue.

And so, what is it I have to say? Well, not a whole lot. All I really want to say is that I know the Gospel is true. It's been a blessing in my life. Which I think is a vague statement. It's been a blessing in many ways. It was a blessing to see pictures of my best friends living the Gospel. It has been a blessing to serve my God. It has been a blessing to feel the Spirit, which really is the "unspeakable gift." A feeling that leaves me feeling stronger, more hopeful, and most importantly---loved.

My challenges have reverted back to the simple ones from the beginning of my mission---opening my mouth being the big one. 6 months really did a doosy on me, but here's where I'm at: "Courage becomes a worthwhile and meaningful virtue when it is regarded not so much as a willingness to die manfully, but as a determination to live decently." (President Monson---I know of 4 talks that he's said that in now.) It's right about time I kicked it into sixth gear. It's about time we all did. Too often we are afraid to do what's right, so afraid that we allow our voices to be stomped into the dirt. As my companion reminds me often---"If Satan can simply bind the tongues of the faithful, he will have won." (Jeffrey R. Holland)

Well, he's not winning on this watch. Not now, not ever. Courage is still necessary, but I have been called of God to do his work and His will, in His way. Not only that, but I have covenanted to do so. I want to be a hero. I want to stand taller and stronger. I sincerely desire to be the helper that Christ can depend on to do his work. I hope to be able to say, like President Monson, "The sweetest experience I know in life is to feel a prompting and act upon it and later find out that it was the fulfillment of someone’s prayer or someone’s need. And I always want the Lord to know that if He needs an errand run, Tom Monson will run that errand for Him."

I hope we all will defy Satan. Don't let him silence you or push you around. Rise up. "Stand higher lift those with feeble knees, hold up the arms of those that hang down. Live the Gospel of Jesus Christ."

That is my commitment to you all this week, and to my Heavenly Father. I will not be silenced.

I love you all.

Believe him. Peace. Love. And Temple Marriage. In that Order.

Elder Hill

What do Weed, Polygamists, and Old People all have in common? -- 31 March 2014

Creston, BC.

Hello my dear and wonderful friends and family! I know you all know that I'm no longer in the mission office. Do you know that I'm all the way in the bottom lefthand corner of the mission? It's unbelievably beautiful out here. It makes me want to wipe the dust off of my camera (sorry mom) and take some photos.

We're here to work. We've already seen a few miracles, the first one just happened on my second day in the area. You see, they just called a new bishop and new ward mission leader. This is good news in just about every case, because it means their hearts are open. The Lord has a way of doing that. So we sat down with them in their first coordination meeting and our WML was suggesting he would really like at least 15 minutes in ward council to discuss the needs of the people we're working with. The bishop, cuts in and responds, "I'll gladly give you 15 minutes, and I anticipate it will take even longer as it get's going, even up to 30 or more, because that's what ward council is really about."

I literally began tearing up. He knows. He gets what it's actually for. The reality of it all was incredible. They asked me if I was okay, and I just nodded my head. Holy cow, the Spirit rushed into the room like a Porche 918 Spyder (saw it on the cover of a magazine today, it looks fast ;)) as we discussed how we were going to proceed with the Ward Mission Plan.

So, our ward mission leader has kept us honest and busy, both with administrative tasks as well as regular teaching and work. Elder K and I have had to practice planning and prioritizing. The good news about all of it is that it just makes you feel so good. I have already begun to feel closer to my Father in Heaven. I've also really struggled adjusting to being a follower, instead of a leader. I wouldn't say it's been hard to swallow that pill, because I'm really grateful for it, but it has certainly been difficult to remember what is and is not my responsibility. The load of regular missionary labors seems very light now compared to what I was doing before, and I'm very grateful for how the Lord is helping me to progress.

Elder K is amazing! He laughs all the time, even at my stupid jokes and just has a great way of helping people just feel like they are loved. He works hard and isn't afraid to do what the Lord wants done. He is teaching me a lot about being a better missionary and consecrating myself to the Lord. I really hope I can keep up.

Well, I've rambled on a lot, but I do have just one more thing (uhoh... here it comes).

Many of you are probably aware of the event in American History known as the "Shot Heard Around the World." I haven't taken a history class in an awfully long time and I don't really have the ability to look it up, but basically (if I remember correctly) there was a little bit of contention going on between the British Soldiers and the American colonists just before the breaking out of the revolutionary war. Tension was high. When, after an encounter with the Soldiers on a night in the street, a shot was fired. That noise was later coined by emerson(?) as the Shot Heard Around the World because it sparked the British Military into action (who at the time were stationed around the world) and was the spark which ignited the gunpowder that was the American revolution.

Well, Elder Hill, what is this about?

This is about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Someone was bearing their testimony in church yesterday and they quoted "The Standard of Truth." and reminded me of this phrase. The appearance of God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ to the boy Joseph was a shot that would be heard around the world. As was President Monson's announcement just a year and a half ago (can you believe it's been that long?). There are moments in history that mark the turning point of a nation, a people, or a soul. Those, "Shots" are all brought by our Father in Heaven to make us like our Father in Heaven.

This work---missionary work, the work of salvation, conversion, inviting others to come unto christ---call it what you will, is the shot that we give everyone who will hear. It is being spread throughout the world, and it is meant to change our lives. So, my dear friends. Give it a chance. There is a war raging around us, in us, and by us. We have neighbors, friends, brothers and sisters who need the message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and they may never accept it if we don't open our mouths and honestly seek to give them a chance for change. Be the shot. Be that change. After all, "The Standard of Truth has been erected; no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done."

I love you all. Don't be afraid.

Elder Hill

Transfer Week... -- 21 March 2014

...and I'm no longer AP.

I know, weird right? Or at least, by the time this transfer is finished I won't be. 

I've been pondering a lot lately. Just about life, the family, the mission, the work. I suppose it's strange to be transitioning from this position to another again... I suppose you become so much a part of the things that you are asked to do that it becomes difficult to change, but as I've been indexing my mission in my mind I've found that those have been the times of greatest growth. I think of the power of change....

So many people are terrified of change. I was with the Sister missionaries that serve in our ward the other day and one of them was expressing just how much she hates transfers. To be honest, I've felt the same way... sometimes for different reasons than her, but how can you blame her for fearing the unknown? Truthfully, as I've been an assistant I've realized the power of transfers, and the gratitude I've had for each and every single one of them. Also, the only regrets that I've had regarding transfers have been caused by my own pride, imperfection, and stubborn attitudes toward them. Thus proving to me that my personal growth is a personal choice, a choice I make every day the moment I wake up. I think we are all the authors of our own destiny, ultimately. God's power and wisdom and plan is frankly so infinite and so perfect that we have to choose to succeed, just as we have to choose to fail. 

That is the reality of my whole mission, that this life is a series of choices. Choices that affect our destiny, our attitude, our hopes, and our personal peace and righteousness. And the atonement of Jesus Christ is the motivating factor for all the positive, the power by which we are enabled to obtain it all, and the means by which we overcome the effects of our poor choices. We are limited by our choices, or we are set free by them. Thus we begin to see and understand that our decisions to break God's laws stop us from reaching Him not because he doesn't love us enough to look past them, but because if we would never choose to follow him, we would never choose to be with him. Decisions to keep his laws give us ultimate freedom, freedom in relationships with others, power to be an influence in the lives of those we choose to love, and liberty to begin to liberate ourselves from the captivity of our sins which keep us from reaching fully to him---all, again, by the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

So what have I learned as assistant? I've learned that we are simply assigned to these positions to foster our own personal growth---all in God's confidence that you won't get in His way of making happen what He needs to have happen. It's an assignment of sacred trust. To minister, to believe, to administer, and to choose to stand personally taller, and to be better than you have ever been before. It is an opportunity to choose to follow Him more closely, to put off the Natural Man and become a saint through the Lord Jesus Christ... and it will all happen according to your attitude toward it, toward others, and toward Him. 

In the meantime we'll be having a baptism next Saturday. I believe I will be transferred to Creston, BC. It is in the bottom lefthand corner of our mission and is almost the farthest away from the mission home I'll be... probably. And you know what? I'm ready. I'm ready for change. I'm ready for growth. I'm ready to just give it all up and put everything that I've learned for the past 20 months into effect... I'm ready to feel the hand of my Savior urging me forward toward those who need our help. I hope He will fill me... and in the same breath I hope I will be hungry. More hungry than I've ever been for Him and His work and His word. I pray He will make me feel so uncomfortable that I will turn to him in every moment, and that my faith will be strong enough to press forward through it all. I hope he will guide my work and my tongue. I want to be used, to give my all, and to never look back wondering if I was able to give it my all. 

This was a long email and I've just gone nuts in it, but what I know is nevertheless true. That Jesus Christ is the Son of God. That I have been called to Serve Him. My Heavenly King of Glory. Chosen Heir to Witness for His name. Far and Wide I tell my Father's Story, and Far and Wide His love I proclaim.

I know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is restored. Joseph Smith was his chosen prophet in the latter days. Speaking of which:

Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. ^aCourage, brethren; and on, on to the victory! 

I love you all. Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order!

Elder Taylor J. Hill

Canada Calgary Mission

Captain of the Host of Israel -- 3 March 2014

I came across a wonderful story in the Scriptures the other day. In Joshua 5.

Joshua had just arrived at Jericho when suddenly:

and, behold, there stood a ^aman over against him with his sword drawn in his hand

So, naturally, what do you do when you see a guy staring at you with a sword in his hand?

and Joshua went unto him, and said unto him, Art thou for us, or for our adversaries?

Naturally, you walk up to him and ask him which army he's in. He responds

And he said, Nay

In other words, "I'm not a member of any army."

but as captain of the ^ahost of the Lord am I now come.

Wait... what? 

but as captain of the ^ahost of the Lord am I now come.

In other words, "My name is Jehovah, and I'm here to lead you to victory."

Remember a few weeks ago when we talked about believing Christ? Trusting him that He would fulfill His promises. Well, Joshua marches up to Jericho, and who's standing there with a sword, ready to "fight his battles for you"? Christ. It was really cool to find scriptural evidence of Christ really being there for us. Not just in a "sit back and watch you work and give you some help every once in awhile" kind of way. But in an active way. Dressing up, grabbing his sword,  and working. Christ makes all the difference.

p.s. Wouldn't it be so cool to see Christ ready for battle? We always picture him in a robe, the sword image made Him that much cooler. 

This week was good. Zone conferences finished up... And that's pretty much what we did this week.

Anyway, this one was really fast and sloppy.

Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order!

Elder Hill

Will You... -- 24 February 2014

Dear Friends and Family and anyone else who may read this email for some reason, (#aknightstale)

Hi! How are you? If you're getting this email you can be sure that I love you and that I probably think of you often. Since the beginning of my mission, actually, I've probably been thinking of you. That's right, 18 months and counting and you've been on my mind.

This week we've been doing Zone Conferences, we have a lot to do this coming week as well. They've been a blessing more because of what happens outside of the conference than inside. I don't think anything I really say to anyone is any more special that what you  or my companion would say to someone. So, Zone Conferences, while important and revelatory are just really the small part of what we really do. 

I'm trying to be completely honest in these emails, I hope you know that. 

Yesterday at church we were sitting with a non member who just walked into church. The talks in the meeting were awesome. They were about enduring to the end, faith, and the Atonement. I was completely captivated by what the Spirit was teaching me, actually. Not necessarily by what they were saying, but rather by what I was hearing, if that makes sense. 

I was thinking of repentance. 

Repentance and I have something of an intimate relationship, for a long time it was really love-hate. It was a painful, fear filled thing that resulted in the joy that the savior has promised. 

Repentance is not a stand-alone principle. Rather it is a principle that is fueled by faith, which results in covenant keeping and covenant making. Repentance is the means by which we overcome every sorrow, hardship, fear, and imperfection in our lives, which are in our ability to control. Repentance is a change of heart, a change of mind. It is a fresh view about God, about ourselves, and about the world. 

Repentance is brought about by the Grace of Jesus Christ--- grace which ENABLES us to decide to change, and to make the necessary steps to do so. God does not simply pick you up, break you, and shape you into a new person. Rather, He enables you through his Grace to choose to follow Him. He makes the things that seem impossible, possible. Like the pioneers who prayed that their stomachs would be strengthened so they could eat the hide of cattle to survive the winter, so too is grace enabling us to repentance. Our minds and hearts are strengthened to overcome the bitter taste of sin which can be so addicting to us. You may hear of stories where someone is trying to quit smoking, and the very thought of it becomes disgusting for them. That is His grace. Or someone addicted to pornography not bearing to be around any kind of sexual temptation for fear of its bitter outcomes... they have been blessed by grace---enabled by it to conquer it. 

Repentance requires faith in Jesus Christ that He can and will change us. Faith relates directly to our desires. If we want to change, if we desire to be better, then we will choose to believe Him. But God will not force repentance upon any unwilling participant. We must choose to believe Him, and to believe in him. Not only to trust in His existence, but simply to rely on the promises He has given us that we will no longer feel the guilt, shame, or sorrow brought about by our poor choices. 

What about those without faith? Well, in the words of Mormon

40 And again, my beloved brethren, I would speak unto you concerning ^ahope. How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope?

 41 And what is it that ye shall ^ahope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have ^bhope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life ^ceternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.

This relates directly to what Alma said:

 27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than ^adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

Do you have hope? Or desire? Do you really want it? Do you want it enough to try? He will fill your heart. 

Repentance leads to cleansing, though it is not repentance that cleans us. Repentance is simply a bridge to salvation, not the means of it. The way to cleanliness is through Covenants and Ordinances. In other words, we are baptized because we desire to be clean. We are not forgiven nor is the price fully paid for the sin, until we make promises through ordinances that we will change. In other words we are not fully forgiven nor can we be clean, feel peace or fully happy until we have partaken of the Sacrament worthily, having made the promise that we are willing to take upon us the name of the Son and keep his commandments. He makes this promise with us so that we can choose to follow Him, and so He can be enabled to take a more active role in our lives and assist us in change by the power of His spirit. Thus, we keep the promises that we make by living the commandments--- attending church, reading our scriptures, praying, and keeping our covenants. In exchange for these things, God cleanses us, makes us pure, holy, and righteous, and we are changed into "New creatures in Christ."

Repentance, when coupled with ordinances, brings us the Spirit, which acts as a protection and strives to keep us on a path leading toward eternal happiness and salvation with Christ. 

So, it is for this purpose that we are called to "declare repentance" and "invite others to come unto Christ." Because God wants us in His kingdom, and in order to get there, we must repent. 

Doctrine and Covenants 19 says it best: 15 Therefore I command you to repent—repent, lest I ^asmite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your ^bsufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not.

 16 For behold, I, God, have ^asuffered these things for all, that they^bmight not suffer if they would ^crepent;

 17 But if they would not repent they must ^asuffer even as I;

 18 Which ^asuffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might ^bnot drink the bitter cup, and shrink—

 19 Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and^afinished my preparations unto the children of men.

 20 Wherefore, I command you again to repent, lest I ^ahumble you with my almighty power; and that you ^bconfess your sins, lest you suffer these ^cpunishments of which I have spoken, of which in the smallest, yea, even in the least degree you have ^dtasted at the time I withdrew my Spirit.

or in the words of Alma

 62 I speak by way of command unto you that belong to the church; and unto those who do not belong to the church I speak by way of invitation, saying: Come and be baptized unto repentance, that ye also may be partakers of the fruit of the ^atree of life.

So, dear friends, will you repent? I don't know what it is you're facing, but I love you. I think of you and I'm praying for you. I know that each of us struggles with our imperfections... but we can be clean. We can be happy. We can be confident. We can feel peace. We can feel hope for a better world. We are His children.

Will you follow Him? 

I love you with all of my heart.

Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill