The Hardest Part about the Office -- 28 October 2013

Having this calling has helped me to learn so much about the mission, about our roles as mission leaders, and about how to help and uplift other people It has been all about other Elders and Sisters... whether that means correction, or just loving support, it is all about them. It's pretty incredible to consider how much I've grown recently to love the missionaries within this stewardship... it's unreal the feelings that I experience as I strive to serve them. Those are feelings that I've had as a district leader, and a zone leader, but it's incredible to feel it for literally HUNDREDS of people... what a huge blessing. If I feel this way, I can only begin to imagine how President N

must feel... or President Monson... or our Father in Heaven. So much love, absolute unconditional love... you just feel so ready to help and serve... willing to do anything. And there are dumb missionaries, don't get me wrong, but how can you help but love and support them? It's easy to see the best in someone that you desire to see succeed, especially when you, and they, are a part of the same God-sent work. I never feel I need to yell, or chastise, or make harsh remark, but any time correction is necessary, the Spirit always flows, and my love actually increases. (see D&C 121:34-46 for why that happens---it's pretty sweet)

But, aside from all the administrative tasks, and the correction, transfers, and all of those wonderful things that I am blessed to be a part of, there is something that happens in this calling which is really difficult to be a part of: Missionaries going home early. 

There's a lot that I could say... I could talk about how difficult a mission is, I might talk about the stress that we experience as missionaries, I should talk about the expectations that are set before us, or the age change, or the weaknesses that we carry, but I'm not worried about those things.... What is sad is taking a missionary to the airport, and having them in tears because they don't know what everyone else is going to think of them. 

As Elder Holland taught in his most recent general conference address, "Like a Broken Vessel," there are things that hit us and hurt us, that no measure of "bucking up" or "squaring shoulders" will truly solve. I fear when I hear people talking about missionaries who came home early, calling them "weak" or "not good enough" or "not worthy enough" saying, "If they would have just depended more on God, they would have been able to stay." 

Coming from a missionary who knows how it feels to be broken, lost, unworthy, imperfect, and kicking himself for not just being able to square his shoulders, trust God and get on with it.... an empty pit isn't filled by anything but pure love. My weaknesses are many... and almost every day at least for a moment or two I am reminded that I am not good enough... But it is the Love of God, of my companions, of my mission president, and of all of you, my friends, that has carried me. 

So, if you know someone who has come home early, in the mission or in life--- please love them. 

Whatever else you may or may not be able to provide, you can offer your prayers and you can give “love unfeigned.”⁸ “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; … [it] beareth all things, … hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.”

This kind of love extends far beyond what we could possibly comprehend. We have friends in our lives who are ready to go home. Maybe from their mission or on a different scale, from school, work, friendships, marriages, or their faith. Now, when they think of giving up, giving in, and going home, they don't need people who are going to criticize them... they need someone who is willing to love them and stick with them, because when we do this, we really support them, love them, help them, give them what we have, they grow. They are filled with the pure love of Christ, and they grow. 

Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed. While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind.

So, if you're someone who's struggling, please remember the following:

So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson said to the Relief Society sisters so movingly last Saturday evening: “That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.”⁴ Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart. Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. Take the sacrament every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.

I love you all so much. And I hope you know that I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. Maybe it will  take up a lot more than "bucking up" for you or for me, but no matter what it takes, Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven can and will help us. Do not give up. Do not give in. Trust Him. He is real. He is your Father. You are not alone. He will accept you no matter what. We had this thought earlier this week that I would like to share with you: "Stop worrying about where you are, or even where you've been, or what you will be, just focus on serving the Lord. We shouldn't feel guilty or pained because we aren't perfect, we shouldn't feel like we can never stand before God and be able to withstand Him, we should always feel like He LOVES US and He wants us to succeed, and HE DOESN'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR YOU TO GET THERE. He will help you if you are willing. He loves you, and He will do what it takes to get you there, stop worrying, He will take care of you---that is hope. That is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Repent  daily, but trust always that He will help you." 

Don't let your imperfections get you down. Got doesn't care how long you are imperfect for, He will accept and love you as long as you are honestly striving to do His will. And remember, what He requires is never more than you are willing to do. 

I love you I love you I love you.

Keep running, keep pushing, keep striving. Go ahead and square your shoulders. Trust that it will be okay, you will get through it, and if you don't, I'm still here. So will the Savior be. 

Rock on. Peace, Love, and Temple Marriage, in that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

It's snowing and I have a sweater!!

Where I Am Willing To Go -- 21 October 2013

This week has been an opportunity to use talents that I never expected on my mission. It turns out, I know quite a bit more about computers than... pretty much everyone in the office. So, I've been on call for the senior missionaries. That's been fun.

Two days ago, we were on our way home from an appointment, when we saw someone on the side of the road trying to fix his bike. So we pulled over and offered to help. We got it all put together and fixed up (thank you, dad) we asked him if he wanted to know more about who Jesus Christ is. He said, "Yeah, absolutely!" Pretty exciting. Probably the most successful contact I've ever had (that's not saying much up here, but you know... God consecrates the effort of the faithful). 

I honestly don't know what else to say this week...

Just know that God loves you. Believe in Him. Trust that He wants the best for you, he wants you to be the best you can be. Jeffery R. Holland said, "God doesn’t care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go."

Believe in Him. Trust Him. He isn't worried about where you've been. Where are you and are you willing to go where He wants you to go? Will you trust Him? I will. Always.

I hope I never forget the lessons that the Lord has taught me... I know it must be hard in regular life to hang on to the lessons that we learn every week. It must be so hard to put off the things of the world, and to live all the laws, from music, to movies, to being kind, to loving your neighbor, even to sharing the gospel... But I can only imagine the power that would be available to someone who chose to sanctify themselves to such a point, that they could follow all the spiritual promptings they received, regardless of their circumstances. Maybe someday I'll be that man that others can depend on to always be there. Maybe, I'll be someone that can lift, inspire, motivate, and glorify my Father everywhere I go. 

I know this Gospel is true. I love you all so much.

Rock on. Peace, Love, and Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

Consistent God -- 17 October 2013

I love you all did you know that? I'm trying to get caught up, believe me, but you should know that I do love you.

Well, I'm doing my best right now to get the missionary work under control over here. We've been working a lot with other missionaries recently, and especially spending a lot of time in the office. We've been getting programs working correctly (talents that I never thought I would be using on my mission) running backups and preparing the office for an upgrade. Yesterday we were in the office doing paperwork until 6:30, then we had a dinner appointment and a less-active lesson. I find that one thing I really miss is having consistent personal studies. I can really see it affecting my teaching and the general spirit I feel throughout the day. I don't know how I went through life before without consistent studies... it's always the lift, the boost that I need. I find happiness and peace in greater measure when I study the Gospel. I find that I am always given what I should say, even in situations that don't seem like such a big deal.

I had a sweet experience a few weeks ago. We had just had a training on the new church program, "Adjusting to Missionary Life." Basically, it's a new book all about learning to deal with stress, especially in the mission field. In the training we did role plays where we took time to talk with a missionary who was struggling with personal issues. Issues like home-sickness, depression, frustration, stress, discouragement, and disobedience. We discussed the affect that we could have on individuals who are battling said issues and we talked about things that we found helpful when we were struggling. Then we practiced helping other missionaries. Well, later that evening we went on an exchange with some other missionaries in our zone. The missionary that I was with was really hurting for various reasons, and I could tell. To make matters worse, we were in a meeting with his Ward Mission Leader who was just tearing him apart. I stood up for him, in the most Christlike way that I could... then he started in on me. (sarcasm is the devils tool, btw) (bold language, but it's destructive, don't use it,  you might hurt someone you love without meaning to) So, I calmly (I used to just freak out in those situations, I guess that's one good way I've grown) focused the direction back to the reason for the meeting. 

After it was over, this missionary and I went into the church washroom and I just asked him how he was doing. He expressed his feeling of inadequacy, and his honest desire to just be a good boy. He felt that he was disappointing his God, his trainer, his ward mission leader, and Himself. He placed his leaders on a pedestal of perfection and asked questions such as, "What do I need to do to be more like so-and-so?" or "Why can't I just do it as well as said-awesome-missionary?" When he was done expressing himself, I said a silent prayer in my mind that I would be guided to know what to say. I honestly don't remember what I did say (such, I suppose is the nature of the spirit) but what I know is that the Spirit was there. Tears were shed as the spirit testified of His divine worth, and potential. Somehow, the message got across that I loved him, and that the Lord loves him. That the Lord doesn't expect perfection, but he does expect us to try. It was beautiful to see the Lord work so quickly.

I think one of the cruelest poisons in the world is comparison. It is a weakness that I have, along with many other imperfections. In our own way, we all compare ourselves with others, and we really shouldn't. We are all at our own places in life, in our own ways and our own times. It is good to have role-models, but when we look at our performances as failures because of the successes of others, then we are damaging ourselves and damming our own personal progression, because it is discouraging. We aren't perfect beings, but we are capable of great things if we choose to believe in ourselves.

Confidence is not the certainty of success but rather the conclusion that failure does not determine our worth—we lose nothing by trying.

I want you to know that I love you all. Please don't be discouraged, know that I love you, and trust that God will take care of you. You can trust in Him. 

I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. We are our Father's children. 

Peace, Love, and Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

The Pearls of Great Price: Small Experiences that I Hope You'll Appreciate -- 12 October 2013

Over the past while, my studies have been very limited, but I've come across scriptures that have come to mean an awful lot to me. I feel as though the Lord has been speaking to me through the scriptures and I hope you can feel and see as I have seen the hand of the Lord in my life. 

The first experience comes from Jacob chapter 5. As you know, Jacob 5 is probably the longest chapter of the Book of Mormon, and it is also one of my favorites, because it's all about the gathering of Israel (or, missionary work). Well, Jacob tells of a Lord and his servant trying to save an orchard (or vineyard) of olive trees. After working, toiling, starting over, failing, replanting, pruning, digging, and doing everything that they are able to do, the vineyard again fails (apostasy and dispensations [even personal apostasy... we all fall away, even though God is doing everything He can for us, while still respecting our agency and choice]) and it says :

41 And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard wept, and said unto the servant: aWhat could I have done more for my vineyard?

The first thing that stood out to me was that the Lord of the Vineyard wept. Can you imagine God weeping? Weeping for you? I suppose one might say, "Well, he's God, He has everything, He doesn't need me." Well, my friend, notice that the parable doesn't note that the Lord owns multiple vineyards, this vineyard is his everything. We are God's everything, he does need us, and He needs us because He loves us. So, when we break and fall, He weeps. He's heartbroken, because when He loses us, he loses everything. He loves us. 

It continues. His servant comes up to him and after a brief conversation where the Lord considers giving up, he says :  50 But, behold, the servant said unto the Lord of the vineyard: Spare it a little alonger. 51 And the Lord said: Yea, I will spare it a little longer

Number 2, God is all about second chances. And third chances, and fourth... and as many as we need to get it right, because He has a servant who has paid the price... who pleads on our behalf, who loves the vineyard, and who will not quit until we are saved. That is His nature. We are spared and given second chances as long as we are willing to undergo what it will take to grow. 

 62 Wherefore, let us go to and labor with our might this last time,for behold the end draweth nigh, and this is for the last time that Ishall aprune my vineyard.

"This last time..." Just a thought for a the missionaries out there... we only have one shot. This is it, the big finale, the work has been hastened, preparatory to the coming of Christ, and we have been called to prune the vineyard, and to gather Scattered Israel. The last time. The last go. One more shot. We must give it everything, every ounce that we have, because literally, this is the final dispensation of time... so we must share the Gospel. Here, now, this life. Don't be afraid to be counted amongst the servants called to labor. 

 72 And it came to pass that the servants did go and labor with their mights; and the Lord of the vineyard labored also with them;and they did obey the commandments of the Lord of the vineyard in all things.

The Lord of the vineyard labored also with them. Check this sweet nugget out: D&C 38:7

 7 But behold, verily, verily, I say unto you that mine ^aeyes are upon you. I am in your ^bmidst and ye cannot ^csee me;

When you are on the Lord's errand, you are in the Lord's midst. He doesn't just plop us down onto the earth and leave us alone to figure it out, but He labors with us. He loves us. Why would he leave us alone? You are watched over... never alone. 

How beautiful is that?

Finally a brief thought on Consecration (it seems that these topics never end, and I'm sorry that this is so long) (Deuteronomy 11)

 13 ¶And it shall come to pass, if ye shall hearken diligently unto my commandments which I command you this day, to ^alove theLord your God, and to ^bserve him with all your heart and with all your soul,

 14 That I will give you the ^arain of your land in his due season...

Consecration doesn't mean mindless obedience and following painfully commandments, He asks us to love him and serve him... that love of god will cause us to want to do it. Just like no man really wants to work, work becomes a pleasure when He does it for the love of his family for whom he provides. It means something to him, it becomes a small part of who He is. He can be happy, in the work, because He knows that the reason He's doing it is out of pure love. 

“When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power.” Ezra Taft Benson

We turn to God out of our love for Him.

I do love Him. I love my Savior Jesus Christ who did everything for me. This week I was trying to decide what I am going to do when I finally see my Savior, face to face---when it's time for my personal interview with Christ... I don't know that I'll be able to stand... speak... sing... I don't know, I'm almost sure I'll be on my knees, weeping because of His mercy... I will worship Him, and then I will stand, ready to do His work, and spread His love, and now allow His suffering for me to be in vain. All the way to the end. 

Just as I now stand, ready to do His work in the best way that I possibly can. 

I love you all.

Peace. Love. And Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

Finally Some Time... -- 12 October 2013

Our mission president, President N, is the busiest man that I have ever met, but what a wonderful man he is.

Transfers were this week, and I got to drive the 15 passenger van!!! Ole!!! It was good to be able to just focus on driving for a little while after the hectic schedule of the week. Unfortunately, immediately after transfer station 2 (there are 3 transfers that occur on transfer day, we pull everyone we can into central locations, and transport the missionaries in vans from A to B then back to A) chaos began to reign. We were supposed to be out of there between 1:30 and 2:00 to begin travel to the next transfer station. The cars got mixed up, travel arrangements were lost, keys were in the hands of people that shouldn't have had them, the luggage was missing as was the mail, and the list goes on and on.

Anyway, we didn't end up leaving until 3 o'clock.... Then, on our way up to Calgary, one of the tires for the trailer broke off. Didn't just come off, didn't just loosen up or flatten, it busted clean off. Bolts, nuts, tire, gone. Everyone made it safe, as did the luggage, it was just a mess :D. Hahaha 

After that, we went to the going home fireside. The missionaries going home all bore their testimonies, we watched the slide show, President N gave a brief talk about the importance of member missionary work, and then we closed with "Called to Serve" (oh, how I love that beautiful hymn). 

We gathered together and got all of the luggage weighed and put together, and we all slept at the mission home for those 13 missionaries' final night.

The next morning we went to the temple (HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW TEMPLE VIDEO!?!?!?!?!? I'M STILL A GEEKING OUT ABOUT IT!!!!), which was a very revealing experience, I learned so much. After that we took the missionaries to the airport (can anyone say, "Trunky"?) and dropped them off to head home to their families. 

After that, President told us to go get some lunch, then some rest. So, we got lunch.... and went to the office to send out some emails to the new missionaries, organize new templates, set up google docs, and finish out what we needed to get done for the day. We then went home and took a brief nap (which only really felt like blinking after such a long series of late nights, minimal studies, very early mornings, and a tough workout regimen) and then we were off again. We got home around 10:15 that evening and weren't in bed until around 11, because of all the phone calls we needed to return. 

We woke up early yesterday morning, actually got to do a small part of our studies, and then were off again. There was one more missionary to go home yesterday because of passport problems. We took him to the airport and then did some office work. Part 1 of our p day finally began. We picked up some food, did our laundry, and went shopping for warm clothes for the winter. 

After that we had an appointment with a new investigator. We were handing her off to the Sister missionaries, so, our 3 leg was there, along with the sisters (5 missionaries, 1 member, 1 investigator, and another random non-member... they didn't stand a chance). They asked us to teach just a small portion right at the end of the lesson, and they taught the rest. We ended up extending the baptismal date, which she accepted for the 26th of October. She probably won't be baptized until mid-November because of her work, but the fact that she accepted the date shows a good deal of her faith. 

I feel like everything that I've written has been one, very long, run-on sentence. But I know you wanted to know more about what I was doing.... so there you go. I'll include what I've learned this week in my regular weekly email. I love you!