Do you ever have those weeks that are really hard? Well,
this was one of those. Transfers for me usually is, and I don't always know
why... sad for no particular reason, hmm.... I wonder where that came from
(cough satan cough).
Well, here we are. Monday. I'm feeling amazing. Why? Sunday
came.
There are some times when we are not running at 100%.
Perhaps our pride is dragging us down (as mine often does). It could be that a
loved one is gone, or that we feel empty, far from home, or things just don't seem
to be working the way they ought to be. Well, there are plenty of each of those
times on the mission, often they all come at once. There are, however,
incredible truths that cause us to feel safe, whole, and happy, even in the
middle of our most trying times.
Why is church attendance so important? What about scripture
study? Why do we pray?
God wants to prove himself to us. How? He heals us. You
remember those times when you were broken? Alone? and you got down on your
knees and prayed to be fixed? Or to have a friend? To give you the strength so
that you can do this... so you didn't have to walk that difficult road alone? I
do.
When we were volunteering in High River, we were at our
first house and we had been there for 8 hours. The last thing to do was to rip
the carpet out. I was exhausted, but so was everyone else. Our knives were no
longer sharp enough to cut full lengths of carpet, so we were just cutting the
top, and running, ripping the soaking wet, muddy carpet off the floor and dragging
it up the stairs. I remember having nothing left, my hands couldn't hold on to
the carpet or the railing... but I was the only one with enough strength left
to rip out the carpet. They needed us. So, I just did what I could, I prayed.
Grabbed the next strip of carpet and pulled. Prayed again, and did the same.
Over and over and over again until there was only one strip left to pull.
Fortunately, Someone else was able to do what I wasn't.
You know, God doesn't just wait for our tank to run our and
then recharge us with the energizer bunny of Atonement. It's no magic wand...
he just waits until we actually turn to Him. He blesses us in small and simple
ways, and then, when we are looking, does incredible things for us so that we
can do His work. Accomplish His purposes.
In the doctrine and covenants, God tells us: "And in
temporal labors thou shalt not have strength, for this is not thy
calling." And that is true, we do not have strength
sufficient to accomplish his purposes. We are not God, after all. However, His
grace is sufficient. Here. Now. Always. It is active and not just AFTER all we
can do. Remember that God's time is one eternal round. His strength is
available here, now. Salvation is now. Peace and happiness is now. (see
Alma 34:32 and D&C 58: 26-27)That is our purpose in life. Consider
a missionary: if God only blessed that Elder after he did all he could
do, then nothing would happen until after 10:30----if it happened at all. After
means that whenever we do what God asks, immediately we receive His blessings
of Salvation. It is predicated on our willingness to follow Him. (See
sacrament prayers D&C 20: 77&79)
Do not wait to receive hope, happiness, salvation, or
perfection. We are commanded: "Thou shalt be perfect with the Lord
thy God." When did we become perfect? Baptism. Perfect with Him. Meaning,
if we, on the scale of perfection are only at 2 and we need to be at 100 well,
the Good news(or Gospel) is, Christ suffered an infinite atonement. How
big is infinity? So, take our two, and add it to infinity, how much is that?
Infinity. We have access to it if we are willing. Willing means we will.
And guess what, Christ knows your imperfections. He knows that you will fail.
But are you willing to stand up and try again? Are you willing to give what
you can and be made perfect through Him? with Him? Do you give up because
perfection or consecration is too far away, and you could "never" be
that person? No. Because you can. With Christ, you are. You always will be with
Him unless you shut him out and give up. He will never give up on you.
I know this is a lot like a rant... and I'm sorry. It's a
lot of information that I've been learning over the past transfer or 2 as I've
been studying grace, the atonement, and Jesus Christ. I just feel like so often
we damn ourselves because we aren't where we think we ought to be, or because
we feel like for us it isn't possible. We just sit down and stop.
Maybe we're still doing what we can do, but we're not progressing. We don't
think we can get there. We don't believe in ourselves.
Well, when we give up on God, is when it stops. He promised to
do all He could. God never lies. He can make you perfect with Him, in Him. Then
eventually many many many years later you are perfect on your own. But
only through the merits, mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah.
So when life gets hard, take heart. Because He has been
there. With you. His name is imprinted on your heart. If it's not, then now is
the time to be baptized again, to take the Sacrament again, to stand up and try
again.
He will help you. He will never give up on you. He loves
you.
And that is the great mystery. Why does God love us
so much?
I don't know. I'm not a Father. In fact, in my personal
strong language, I don't deserve salvation. But that's the point. God isn't
seeking to give it to those who deserve it, because nobody does. He wants to
give it to those who are willing... because He loves us all.
Are you willing to do what it takes?
My friends, I mentioned that it had been a hard week. It
has. Sometimes the only thing that will keep you going is a knowledge of the
Savior... his Grace. Well, Sunday came for me. He did not give up on me, again.
:D
I love you all so much. Please, don't give up. Ever.
"Keep walking. Keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. It will be
alright in the end. Trust God, and believe in good things to come."
Rock on. Peace. Love. Temple Marriage. In that order.
Elder Taylor J. Hill
p.s. if you don't feel like God is there, or if you don't
believe He exists or that if He does, He's not answering you... I challenge you
to lean on the testimony of the prophets and apostles, and then willingly do
what they are asking you to do. Every day. You will get an answer.
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