Divinity of Your Calling -- 12 August 2013

There is a beautiful talk called "The Inconvenient Messiah" given (shockingly by Jeffery R. Holland :)) He speaks of how sometimes being a diciple of Jesus Christ isn't always convenient or easy, but that it is always possible. In his talk, he spoke of Spencer W. Kimball when he received His calling as an Apostle. This is an exerpt (full talk: http://www.lds.org/ensign/1984/02/the-inconvenient-messiah?lang=eng   ):

“No peace had yet come, though I had prayed for it almost unceasingly. … I turned toward the hills. I had no objective. I wanted only to be alone. I had begun a fast. …

“My weakness overcame me again. Hot tears came flooding down my cheeks as I made no effort to mop them up. I was accusing myself, and condemning myself and upbraiding myself. I was praying aloud for special blessings from the Lord. I was telling Him that I had not asked for this position, that I was incapable of doing the work, that I was imperfect and weak and human, that I was unworthy of so noble a calling, though I had tried hard and my heart had been right. I knew that I must have been at least partly responsible for offenses and misunderstandings which a few people fancied they had suffered at my hands. I realized that I had been petty and small many times. I did not spare myself. A thousand things passed through my mind. Was I called by revelation? …

“If I could only have the assurance that my call had been inspired most of my other worries would be dissipated. … I knew that I must have His acceptance before I could go on. I stumbled up the hill and onto the mountain, as the way became rough. I faltered some as the way became steep. No paths were there to follow; I climbed on and on. Never had I prayed before as I now prayed. What I wanted and felt I must have was an assurance that I was acceptable to the Lord. I told Him that I neither wanted nor was worthy of a vision or appearance of angels or any special manifestation. I wanted only the calm peaceful assurance that my offering was accepted. Never before had I been tortured as I was now being tortured. And the assurance did not come. …

“I mentally beat myself and chastised myself and accused myself. As the sun came up and moved in the sky I moved with it, lying in the sun, and still I received no relief. I sat up on the cliff and strange thoughts came to me: all this anguish and suffering could be ended so easily from this high cliff and then came to my mind the temptations of the Master when he was tempted to cast Himself down—then I was ashamed for having placed myself in a comparable position and trying to be dramatic. … I was filled with remorse because I had permitted myself to place myself … in a position comparable, in a small degree, to the position the Saviour found Himself in when He was tempted, and … I felt I had cheapened the experiences of the Lord, having compared mine with His. Again I challenged myself and told myself that I was only trying to be dramatic and sorry for myself.

“… I lay on the cool earth. The thought came that I might take cold, but what did it matter now. There was one great desire, to get a testimony of my calling, to know that it was not human and inspired by ulterior motives, kindly as they might be. How I prayed! how I suffered! How I wept! How I struggled!” (Edward L. Kimball and Andrew E. Kimball, Jr., Spencer W. Kimball, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, Inc., 1977, pp. 192–95.)

Now at this very hour, thirty-eight years and a mountain of tumors and troubles later, this sweet and Godly man clings to life not because that life has been convenient, but because he feels there might be one more mountain to climb, one more obstacle of body or spirit that needs to be overcome. The spiritual odyssey of Andrew Kimball’s son has been anything but easy. And maybe that of your father’s son or your mother’s daughter will require patience and perseverance too.

So if your prayers don’t always seem answered, take heart. One greater than you or President Kimball cried, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani. … My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:46.) If sometimes the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived.

I just want to bear my testimony that God not only hears and answers prayers, but he doesn't leave us alone. Sometimes we battle and struggle so that we can grow closer to the Light of God.

One of Jesus Christ's names is, "I Am." and I want to testify that I know that He Is. He is real. He is our Savior. He is our Brother, our Friend, our Advocate with the Father. He is my personal companion and He has taught me how to live like Him. How to give my all. After all, why wouldn't I? In the words of Gordon B. Hinckley, "“It’s true, isn’t it? Then what else matters?”"

It is true. I know it's true. I will and have lived it, and because of this, I know it.

I don't really know what to say about this past week. It has been good. We now have a third companion named Elder Tabler. He's a great guy.

No investigators on date in our area...yet. Our Zone has a goal for 6 baptisms this month, which has never been done by the Foothills Zone before :D. The last time we checked, we had 7 on date this month. We can do it! (it's a principle of faith)

Other than that, this week has been full of teaching. It's no longer as crazy as it was before, but it is going great! We're turning our focus back to the ward to continue to build a foundation so that our investigators still have something to lean on. YSA is insane. More than 3/4 of our ward is moving away for school this weekend.

Well, that's all I have to say about that. I love you all!