No Excerpts This Time -- 26 May 2014

Yesterday I was sitting in Sacrament meeting watching a few families take care of their kids. As I watched little kids take the sacrament, I wondered, "Why do they even need it? They aren't accountable..." Then I thought, "They've got to learn it somehow..."

If you know me much, you know that I probably spend a bit too much time in la-la land, but as I watched these families I began to think of what I wanted to do to someday teach my kids what the sacrament means. Now, I don't know a ton about little dudes, especially the really really really little ones (I can probably count on 1 hand how many times I've held babies... maybe it only actually takes a finger or two) but I think learning begins at the beginning (go figure). So, there I sat in la-la land imagining myself holding my first little dude. Imagining breaking off one tiny piece of bread, just little little little, and putting it in his (or her) mouth, whispering, "This is His body."       Somehow in that experience I had the strangest feeling that even though that future little dude would only be a few months old, he (or she) would understand exactly who I was talking about.

I snapped back to reality as the water began to be blessed, and I sat in simple awe as I contemplated the greatness of God, and my gratitude for what He has done for me. The water came to me only a few moments later and as I drank, I felt the Spirit whisper quietly, "This is His blood." And there I sat. His little one. His tiny tiny tiny little dude, learning the same lesson I was hoping to teach my child someday.

Oh, the blessings that have come into my life because the Savior allows and enables me to repent!

Repentance is simply confessing our sins (to God and to priesthood authority if needed) and promising to forsake them. When we do these things, we are filled with a desire to make them right. Let me tell you, the feeling of purity that comes from partaking of the sacrament worthily, having repented of everything I have ever done... it's addicting. It's incredible. It's powerful. It's one reason that I don't ever want to miss the sacrament.

"But Elder Hill, I can't remember everything bad I've ever done. How could I?"

My friend, if you honestly desire to repent, I invite you to put it to the test. Kneel down and ask the cover all----"Wilt thou please forgive me for everything I can't remember that I have done wrong?" and then, "Father, if there is anything that I have done wrong that needs to be repented of individually, wilt thou please bring it to my memory, so that I can make it right?" You will have things come to your mind, and as they do, you will need the courage to admit, "What I did was wrong." the courage to say, "I will fix this problem with the person I have wronged." actually intending to do it, and then have the courage to kneel back down once that is done and say, "I've done all I can, will you forgive me?" Don't be afraid to do this again and again.

If you do I promise in the name of Jesus Christ, as one of His representatives, that a new light will come into your life. Those you may have wronged along the way of your life will grow to love and respect you. You will feel closer to your Savior as you act upon those promptings. You will be more receptive to the feelings and impressions of the Holy Ghost. You will be a better missionary, a better friend, a better spouse, and a happier person in general. And if this process continues in your life, you will never again desire to miss Sacrament meeting.

After all, cleanliness is next to Godliness.

Thank you all for your love and support, I hope this helps.

Rock on. Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

p.s please don't think I'm mister perfect at this either, past emails are the evidence that that isn't true. Honestly even focusing in sacrament meeting is still a struggle for me, but if He can do it for me then He can do it for anyone in the world. I love you.

Always Growing -- 20 May 2014

Another Mission President Letter excerpt:

My family is doing well, I think. Life is moving forward at its own rate, but I'm doing the best I can to enjoy it here as long as I can. I continue to receive a lot of help and support from my family and my friends. I'm really glad I've been able to email my friends throughout my mission. Their emails, ideas, thoughts, and inspiration have really kept me afloat at times. There's definitely power in good friends.

I remember my first day in the mission, as I'm sure you do. We had had almost no sleep the night before, we missed our flights, we didn't end up at the mission home until almost 6 o'clock. We ate and ran to the church for our notice of first transfer meeting. I was barely awake, not really absorbing anything that was going on. Confused, grumpy, and still just hungry to have a good experience with the day. I knew then as well if not better than I know now that our success and reception to the Spirit are entire based on whether or not we would let it in. I remember being asked to bear my testimony---I didn't have much to say. Not because I didn't have a testimony---because I did, no doubt. But, maybe because at some point during that meeting I stopped worrying about what I thought, did, and desired... I only wanted to do and be what He wanted me to do and be. So, when I bore my testimony I'm sure it was only as simple as a sentence or two.

It wasn't the beginning. I think it started two weeks before I was set apart, testifying in front of the high council of what I knew and believed. Again, very simple... it was all I knew. Amazingly, all I knew then, is the same as all I know now. I know that God exists and that He loves us enough to give us first second and third and fourth chances through His son Jesus Christ. I am a product of second chances and the faith of a God in me.

Well, Hi everyone! I've really been searching and striving to do and be the best I can. On Saturday we only had one appointment (a dinner appointment) so guess what we did all day? What is Tracting and Street Contacting for 400? Ole. Interesting experience. As we were turning to return to our car (about a 45 minute walk away) we felt prompted to turn around. So... we did, we thought, "Maybe we were supposed to knock on this door, or that door.... or maybe there was someone else we missed?" So, we tried to listen to the spirit and be where we needed to be. Well, we ended up walking around the back side of the block back onto the main road probably only 300 feet from where we had stood 5 minutes earlier. We concluded that we just needed to go back toward our car, so, we again began to walk in that direction. Hold on I'll insert a visual aid.

​So, as we were on our way back to the car for the second time we were about to walk past this flea market, when we saw a few eccentric looking people. Me, being me, and liking anything that's even a little out of the ordinary, spoke up and complimented the animals on their heads and other feathered clothing with which they were adorned (I don't think there was any better way to say that). They (3) all smiled and accepted my compliment graciously. So, naturally, we brought up the gospel. They asked us why we did what we did. I told them a bit about how I gained my testimony and why I chose to serve a mission. The Spirit came and we were able to invite them to learn more (after we basically taught them the entire first lesson). We also offered a book of mormon.

Was good. They didn't accept, but you know what? The Spirit brought us there for a reason. I think that the Spirit prompted us to head toward our car again so that we would walk that way, and so we would talk with those people. I have no idea what kind of seeds we planted, but I know they were good. Miracles often feel small, but can have great impact on those we serve.

The Spirit prompts us and teaches us all in different ways, but I think the most common ways for me are just through my every day thoughts. He will often guide me using changing destinations, knowing that I will think "That's a great idea! Aren't I so smart?" Then on the way there, I'll have a prompting to stop and knock on this door, or talk with this person, or stop by this former investigator. And we will always end up where we need to be as we do so. kinda like....this.

Anyway, my testimony may be simple, but it is sure. I know God lives. I know he has given his son Jesus Christ for us. I believe in Him trust in Him. This is His work.

Love you!

Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

Happiness Is... -- 6 May 2014

Ice Cream. Laughter. Meaningful friendships. Powerful study. Tender mercies. Simple pleasures. The Spirit. Expressing yourself. Eating Chocolate Chip Cookies. Eating Sandwiches. Mexican food. Having purpose. Following Christ. Not being able to stand on your own. Giving it your all anyway. Falling. Standing back up. Having a testimony. Being looked after. Being prayed for. Praying for others. Trying to do your best. Rain. Rainbows. Sunshine. Hope. Feeling the love of God. Little dudes. My mom. My mission president. Never giving up. Standing between a rock and a hard place. Bearing witness. A companion who cares. Hoping it will work. Believing it will work. Having faith even when it doesn't work. Having a vision. Seeking the Hand of God. Following Christ. Doing His will. Courage. Fear. Being full. The piano. Singing. Knowing the hard things can be done. Enduring to the end. Repentance. My dad. My brother(s). The book of Mormon. Spiritual Guidance. Did I mention sandwiches and cookies?

Good morning my friends. How are you? Have you found a reason to celebrate lately? Such as: Chris' birthday, Star Wars day, Cinco de Mayo, being alive, getting married, etc? If not, I encourage you to find one. Not create one, but find something in your life that's worth celebrating.... "Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy."

This is another small paragraph from my letter to my mission president this week:

"This is dumb. I'm really honestly just tired of jumping back and forth from square 1 to square 99 over and over and over again. I don't know how to do this. Let's be honest, but I'm just done worrying about that. I'm so sick of the stress and never feeling like I'm good enough. I'm tired of wanting to give up but mentally just barging through my trials and challenges, convinced that I'm smart enough to handle them. This is Christ's work. Not mine. This is His power, not mine. So, if you're looking for me, I'll be back at square 1. If you're looking for Him, He'll be there with me. You'll probably find me on my knees... and you'll probably find Him right there with me. And when I stand up to do His work, it will be under His arm as this broken little child of God limps toward each door, and every other broken child, and invites them to stand under His arm with me."

So, if you're broken, join the club. And find reason to rejoice in the arms of the Savior. In the quoted words from a favorite talk of mine: "It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. . . . it is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever."

If you're looking for me, I'll be celebrating. :) All will be well, and I will be standing taller as I allow him to strengthen my feeble knees.

I love you all.

Rock on.

Peace, love, and temple marriage.

Elder Hill

Learning and Growing -- 28 April 2014

The past week has been one of work. Just honest hardcore missionary work. As my friend ex-elder Seth Sorenson would say, "When you work like that, at the end of the day you feel like a cowboy." It's true, by the time you're done, you're pooped. I'm trying to figure out how to mold both methods of work.

I'd like to share something with you that I sent to my mission president this week.
"I've really been having difficulty connecting myself to the work. I'm not trunky. I'm not "checked out." I'm just having a hard time putting myself in the work with a vision of WHY I'm doing it. Intellectually I understand, but it's not really emotionally connecting, as a result, the Spirit hasn't been as close as I would hope. I think this is a normal thing, if the rest of my mission is a judge. You aren't always driven by super-human power that pushes you to do incredible things. I've really been searching within myself---having to dig deep to just do it. Waking up on time, being obedient, etc. haven't been a problem, don't worry. But I think I have Elder K a little concerned because of some of the symptoms, I suppose of my struggles. Things like forgetting my watch, and not caring enough to grab it, and then being in an appointment for too long. Oh well, I'm going to keep searching, keep working, and keep trying for as long as it takes.

I had a chance to speak to the ward yesterday in Sacrament meeting. When I got there, I was only going to need to fill 10-15 minutes. As advised, I had prepared, but I hadn't come really with anything super specific, so that God could really do the speaking, and not me. Well, when I stood to speak I had 35 minutes to fill. That was a little intimidating, but not impossible by God's reckoning, I'm sure. So, I spoke for between 20-25 minutes and honestly felt like I had said everything I needed to. I testified and sat down, and the bishop called on a member to speak. She did an incredible job and said exactly what needed to be said in addition to everything that had already gone around.

My point of the story is simply that I know that God knows best. Sometimes the things we do can be very intimidating and difficult---scary even. But, if we will simply open our mouths, we can have the confidence that God will, and does fill them. He never leaves us alone or helpless. It's a lesson I've learned again and again.

I sure do love Him.... and I'm really trying... even though I fail a lot, I'm not going to give up. Ever."

You know, God didn't always promise that this life was going to be full of roses, but rather that he would equip us with the tools we needed to work through mistakes, suffering, and struggles we would endure. The promise he gave us, to strengthen us even so that we could not feel their burdens on our backs (see Mosiah 24:12-17). I don't want you to think that I'm some wise, all knowing, mature missionary who has the answers to every life question. I struggle. Often, but you know---I just can't find it in myself to ever give up. He didn't give up on me. So, yes it can be hard. And maybe I can struggle to be happy, positive, or motivated sometimes. And honestly, I don't know what you'll all think when you meet me again once I'm home... but what I know is that I will not stop trying to just be good, in the best way that I know how, and hopefully that will lead me to love more deeply, speak more purely, and all in all, be better than I've ever been before.

I know that Christ lives and that He loves us. He always keeps his promises.

So, Believe Him. Rock on. and you will have

Peace, love, and temple marriage. Probably in that order. :)

Elder Taylor J. Hill

Because of Him -- 21 April 2014

I don't know how many of you have seen that video... the one that I've attached at the bottom of the screen, but it is about the Savior, and it is amazing.

This week was a test of faith. Our mission released new Standards of Excellence which requires 3 hours of personal finding every day. I know for a lot of you out there, you're like, "Three hours? That's pansy work!" But in this mission, it's a lot. I've filled my time my whole mission doing phone calls, teaching less-actives, working with investigators (usu. from referrals or random miracles), and working with members. Personal finding was always the very last resort. Now, it's the number 1 priority. So, with my usual poorly girded attitude we hit the pavement this week, and on our first house found a new investigator. :) God telling me---"Don't worry, kid. I've got you. I always have, and I always will."

My attitude has rapidly changed. That doesn't necessarily mean I'm stoked about personal finding, but I know that whenever I do it, I will be blessed. More than that, I've learned a lot about who I really am. A little of my old self is creeping out as I begin contacting. I just get this urge to yell across the street and say, "What's up!?" or "Yo! I've got a seriously beautiful slice of awesome running in my hand here, you in?" Somehow, I don't think the old people of Creston could really handle that, but I bet if I was a little more willing to just be my best self, the same guy who could just walk up to anyone in Jamba Juice, Zupas, Cafe Rio, or even across the dance floor and just start talking, would be the guy who would have the most success in picking up investigators.

That said, sometimes when I contact, I feel like I have ulterior motives, like---"The only reason I'm talking with you right now is because I need to share the Gospel with you!" Instead of, "I honestly really love you and have genuine concern and desire for your overall happiness. I know this Gospel is true and I want to share it with you." While both are good desires, I think the latter is the preferred contact, simply because it is out of real love.

So, this is where I need your help---does anyone have suggestions about how I can better incorporate the love I do feel for people into the contacting we do?

I don't really know what else to say this week... other than that I know that God really does intend to change us. Our natures. Our whole selves. Really, when we consider what really is possible because of Him, we must begin to admit that our desires that stem as a result of our Savior's existence is to truly do and be the impossible. For me, I want to be a man---- not just like a big burly dude with chest hair and a beard---but a man. A real man. I don't really know how describe it other than an attitude and an understanding of knighthood. Chivalry. Dignity. Faith. Hope. Courageous. Yet, humble.... and not yielding to temptation or addiction. Bridled, and powerful in His priesthood. Magnifying and Glorifying God, and not himself. Well... that sounds like a big ticket, but if you're wondering what I desire because of Him---it's that. And I'm not afraid to dream big, because I know that my God is quite a bit bigger than all of that. After all, "God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can’t if you don’t pray, and He can’t if you don’t dream. In short, He can’t if you don’t believe."

I love you all. Dream big.

Believe Him.

And Rock on.

Peace. Love. Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

Almost Back to the "Green" -- 14 April 2014

Hello dear friends!

This week I've received a lot of welcome news from all of you. I hope you know that I love you and that I'm proud to know you!

I don't have a ton to say this week. BC is green, wonderful, and has helped me a lot be on the straight and narrow---so to speak.

So, without much further ado, I just want to testify. I believe in a Living Savior "who invites us to come unto him and be transformed." I love him. I have come to know him. I love His Father---my God---who has done everything in His power to save us. I know they are real. By the power of the holy ghost, I have learned the truthfulness of the things that I teach. That witness becomes ever more undeniable every time I teach the doctrine of Christ. I know there was a restoration---there was an apostasy but God has never given up on His children and He won't start now nor will he ever. His work with us will not end until He has saved every willing soul. He is in this for the long haul---and so am I.

I hope you know that if you need anything--- ANYTHING. You can count on this guy, right here---Elder Taylor J. Hill to help you out. And if I can't be there, I will find someone who can. And if they can't help---I know just the man.

I love you all.

Believe. Rock on. Peace. Love. Temple Marriage.

In that order.

Elder Hill

Let it begin; Of Courage, Callings, and Covenants and Of Heroes, Helpers, and Holiness -- 7 April 2014

I hope the Spirit will guide me as I email this week.

The past 2 weeks have been an interesting turn in my mission life. It's certainly been an adventure, going from a lot of administrative duty to being actively engaged in an area again without much leadership responsibility at all. I keep finding things that can be done and thinking of ways to do them, then realizing that it's neither in my job or my stewardship, so trying to be productive has been an issue.

And so, what is it I have to say? Well, not a whole lot. All I really want to say is that I know the Gospel is true. It's been a blessing in my life. Which I think is a vague statement. It's been a blessing in many ways. It was a blessing to see pictures of my best friends living the Gospel. It has been a blessing to serve my God. It has been a blessing to feel the Spirit, which really is the "unspeakable gift." A feeling that leaves me feeling stronger, more hopeful, and most importantly---loved.

My challenges have reverted back to the simple ones from the beginning of my mission---opening my mouth being the big one. 6 months really did a doosy on me, but here's where I'm at: "Courage becomes a worthwhile and meaningful virtue when it is regarded not so much as a willingness to die manfully, but as a determination to live decently." (President Monson---I know of 4 talks that he's said that in now.) It's right about time I kicked it into sixth gear. It's about time we all did. Too often we are afraid to do what's right, so afraid that we allow our voices to be stomped into the dirt. As my companion reminds me often---"If Satan can simply bind the tongues of the faithful, he will have won." (Jeffrey R. Holland)

Well, he's not winning on this watch. Not now, not ever. Courage is still necessary, but I have been called of God to do his work and His will, in His way. Not only that, but I have covenanted to do so. I want to be a hero. I want to stand taller and stronger. I sincerely desire to be the helper that Christ can depend on to do his work. I hope to be able to say, like President Monson, "The sweetest experience I know in life is to feel a prompting and act upon it and later find out that it was the fulfillment of someone’s prayer or someone’s need. And I always want the Lord to know that if He needs an errand run, Tom Monson will run that errand for Him."

I hope we all will defy Satan. Don't let him silence you or push you around. Rise up. "Stand higher lift those with feeble knees, hold up the arms of those that hang down. Live the Gospel of Jesus Christ."

That is my commitment to you all this week, and to my Heavenly Father. I will not be silenced.

I love you all.

Believe him. Peace. Love. And Temple Marriage. In that Order.

Elder Hill