Feeling the Truth -- 2 December 2013

Acts of courage are how we come to know Christ. Faith is understanding that the darkness will not be everlasting and that is why we step into it. We will only find the light when we see the darkness. That is why we are grateful for the challenges that test our faith and our testimonies. It is by conquering through those experiences that truly help us to feel our Father in Heaven. To know Him.

Faith is the understanding that the darkness will not be everlasting. The confidence in Christ. The hope that he is really there. 

Every one of us has darkness in our lives. Maybe it's depression or anxiety. Maybe it's past sins. It could be an inability to forgive yourself, or maybe it's that fear that you can't do everything that you feel you need to. Maybe you feel you're forever falling short. You might feel that you are alone, or lost.

Here's what I say to that: as we were all taught it Batman, "The night is darkest just before the dawn." When Nephi saw the vision of the tree of life, he saw people press forward through darkness by the way of the iron rod. 

I testify to you that no matter how dark your night, or how scary your circumstance. There is no darkness so thick that Jesus Christ cannot shine through it. The dawn will break. Happiness will be yours. Peace, hope and light are just around the corner for those who will put their trust in God and do His will. Have faith in Him. press forward. You can do it. I love you. And so does our Father in Heaven. Just hold to the rod, do as you've been taught.

Peace. Love. And Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill 

Just emailing... 2 December 2013

Brother P is a good man. He's really really smart. (Note from Mom:  We met Bro. P in our ward yesterday.)

Today there's quite a storm brewing outside. We've already had a car accident today, so cars are parked. Meaning, we walked to the office this morning. It took almost an hour, and it was cold, but it was also good. After my slightly depressing couple of weeks, I've decided that I need to get back into Cardio, make healthy meals a priority, and take lots of vitamin D. :D So I woke up early this morning and did 15 minutes of Spartacus (a superset workout that kills your legs and chest) which got me breathing hard, then did Biceps and Triceps on the weights at the missionaries home next door. It was a mess, but I feel really good right now. I know that fitness doesn't solve every problem,  but it helps a ton. It was really really nice. 

Tomorrow we will begin our second round of Zone Conferences. Last week was a huge success. We've really felt like the things that we're teaching are actually helping the missionaries improve in their skill as missionaries. We've been teaching about Doctrines and Principles. Then we've been showing them how Doctrines and Principles apply to their work, and then we let them practice. It just makes a lot of sense when it's explained this way. 

I wish I had understood the importance of these things before my mission. It would have helped me to answer the temptations that came my way. I feel that sometimes we believe we are asked to do things "just because." It's nice to know that there is doctrine and reasoning behind the Laws, commandments, covenants, and promises we make. 

The commandments were all things that I could tell you about, what they were, and even why they were there. But they were never internalized until I actually taught them and lived them passionately, seeking to really understand why they were there and how they applied to me. That's the real secret of this Gospel, is when it comes to God, you never know until you try Him. It's ironic to say, because you don't want people to use it as an excuse to do bad things. We should always test the good long before the bad, and we should give it a fair chance.

That is the magic of invitations. We invite people to do good. To read the Book of Mormon daily, until you're all the way through. To pray until you receive an answer, daily. You don't ever give up half way just because it doesn't seem to suit your fancy. Naaman, from the Old Testament, was told to wash 7 times in the river Jordan. Can you imagine what would have happened if he had gotten sick of washing himself at 6? Just because it was inconvenient, or just didn't seem to be working? Notice that God didn't heal him from his leprosy until he had already done everything he was asked to do. 

Sometimes we stand wondering, "Why has God answered them, but not me?" Or someone may say, "Yes, I read from the Book of Mormon and I prayed about it, but I didn't get an answer." Why? One reason, they didn't try hard enough. We have to want things, we have to actually want them enough to give them our all. Naaman almost didn't do what he was told. He would have died! But he was reminded of his desire, his servant came to him and whispered, "My father, if the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldst thou not have done it?" 

What are we willing to give to know God? Some say, "I would die for my God." Well, that isn't the real test, as Naaman demonstrates. President Monson has taught, "Courage becomes a worthwhile virtue when it is regarded not so much as a willingness to die manfully but as a determination to live decently." The true test of mortality is the test of our willingness to live as Christ would have us live, to do the small and simple things that change our lives every day. 

So, seek Him out like you mean it. You will understand the doctrine as you live it. Understanding comes by the Spirit. Ask, seek, knock. Let Him open the doors to you.

I just went off there, but it's true. 

So what are the Doctrines of the Gospel?

https://www.lds.org/youth/learn/guidebook/doctrinal?lang=eng

15 November 2013

Today, I've learned a little bit about love.

Sometimes it's really hard to see God's love for us. Maybe we're burdened by sin, or maybe we're burdened through repentance. We often may feel, for several reasons that we're not good enough... or just simply that we're not enough. Or maybe that we'll never be enough. 

I wonder if we truly know the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ? Did you know that no matter how dark your past, your future can be clear as noon day? Did you know that your sins, if followed by repentance, will never impede you from having a great relationship with your Savior? Did you know that you will never be left alone? Did you know that if you are struggling physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually, you can be healed? I think often of someone that I met while on an exchange in High River. His eyes were kind of glazed over, and he wasn't very happy... He was hurting, and his demeanor suggested that for some reason, he was broken. I found out later in the lesson that he had some kind of mental struggle. 

As we taught him, an incredible thing happened. The greater the Spirit became in the room, the better he was able to communicate with us. Then we shared a song with him, and it's like his heart unlocked, his eyes cleared and he began to express how much he loved his Father in Heaven. He could speak with us, and express Himself, still not entirely perfectly, but the spirit we could feel in that room was incredible.. and the love that we could feel... was nearly unbelievable, and I wouldn't have been able to comprehend it if I hadn't felt it. 

Well, I know that this is what God does for each of us when we seek after the Spirit, His love eminates into us and enables us to truly live our potential. It is love that changes us. Love that shapes us. Love that gives us reasons to live. It is love that gives us the courage to conquer sin, opposition, temptation, fear, distress, and darkness. I know that if you will express love to everyone you meet you will see a change in your life.

I know God loves you. Just as He loves me. I know it. 

Peace. Love. And Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Hill

Called of God -- 4 November 2013

I don't know that I've ever mentioned how great of a blessing it is to be a Servant of the Lord, have I? :D I probably have, but in case you are wondering, it's the best calling any man could have. 

We had MLC last week. Well, the night before, we (me, my companion, and our mission president) counseled on what we wanted to cover in MLC, we decided we were going to change it up. It was going to be a full on council. The whole time. Meaning we were going to spend the whole time just counciling. I hope that makes sense.

Well, after going over the business, we began the first council, and it covered everything we planned to bring up. MLC ended up going 2 hours longer than intended, but it was well worth it. It's amazing how God just worked through us to help it happen. 

I don't have much time, and I struggled to know what to say today, and I still don't know... and I've run out of time. But I love you. I love you all so much. 

I know this Gospel is true. I know you hear that from missionaries all the time, especially this one. But really... really. If you don't know that for yourself you are missing out on the greatest measure of joy you can obtain in this life. I know that's bold, strong language, but I love you. I want you to know that God does exist. He loves you! He wants you to come unto Him and to really live. To truly feel and experience this life and the next to its fullest measure, and I promise you that the work and pain of repentance is well worth it. You all know me. You know I've made mistakes... but there has never been a happier me. Ever. And there's more, waiting for me. I know there is, I can feel it. See it. Taste it. It tastes like Home. and it feels like Him. 

I love you all so much. Please find something today that you can do to invite the Spirit into someone's life. I promise you that you will see God's hand today if you will.

Rock on. Peace, love, and temple marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

The Hardest Part about the Office -- 28 October 2013

Having this calling has helped me to learn so much about the mission, about our roles as mission leaders, and about how to help and uplift other people It has been all about other Elders and Sisters... whether that means correction, or just loving support, it is all about them. It's pretty incredible to consider how much I've grown recently to love the missionaries within this stewardship... it's unreal the feelings that I experience as I strive to serve them. Those are feelings that I've had as a district leader, and a zone leader, but it's incredible to feel it for literally HUNDREDS of people... what a huge blessing. If I feel this way, I can only begin to imagine how President N

must feel... or President Monson... or our Father in Heaven. So much love, absolute unconditional love... you just feel so ready to help and serve... willing to do anything. And there are dumb missionaries, don't get me wrong, but how can you help but love and support them? It's easy to see the best in someone that you desire to see succeed, especially when you, and they, are a part of the same God-sent work. I never feel I need to yell, or chastise, or make harsh remark, but any time correction is necessary, the Spirit always flows, and my love actually increases. (see D&C 121:34-46 for why that happens---it's pretty sweet)

But, aside from all the administrative tasks, and the correction, transfers, and all of those wonderful things that I am blessed to be a part of, there is something that happens in this calling which is really difficult to be a part of: Missionaries going home early. 

There's a lot that I could say... I could talk about how difficult a mission is, I might talk about the stress that we experience as missionaries, I should talk about the expectations that are set before us, or the age change, or the weaknesses that we carry, but I'm not worried about those things.... What is sad is taking a missionary to the airport, and having them in tears because they don't know what everyone else is going to think of them. 

As Elder Holland taught in his most recent general conference address, "Like a Broken Vessel," there are things that hit us and hurt us, that no measure of "bucking up" or "squaring shoulders" will truly solve. I fear when I hear people talking about missionaries who came home early, calling them "weak" or "not good enough" or "not worthy enough" saying, "If they would have just depended more on God, they would have been able to stay." 

Coming from a missionary who knows how it feels to be broken, lost, unworthy, imperfect, and kicking himself for not just being able to square his shoulders, trust God and get on with it.... an empty pit isn't filled by anything but pure love. My weaknesses are many... and almost every day at least for a moment or two I am reminded that I am not good enough... But it is the Love of God, of my companions, of my mission president, and of all of you, my friends, that has carried me. 

So, if you know someone who has come home early, in the mission or in life--- please love them. 

Whatever else you may or may not be able to provide, you can offer your prayers and you can give “love unfeigned.”⁸ “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; … [it] beareth all things, … hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.”

This kind of love extends far beyond what we could possibly comprehend. We have friends in our lives who are ready to go home. Maybe from their mission or on a different scale, from school, work, friendships, marriages, or their faith. Now, when they think of giving up, giving in, and going home, they don't need people who are going to criticize them... they need someone who is willing to love them and stick with them, because when we do this, we really support them, love them, help them, give them what we have, they grow. They are filled with the pure love of Christ, and they grow. 

Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed. While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind.

So, if you're someone who's struggling, please remember the following:

So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson said to the Relief Society sisters so movingly last Saturday evening: “That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.”⁴ Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart. Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. Take the sacrament every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.

I love you all so much. And I hope you know that I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. Maybe it will  take up a lot more than "bucking up" for you or for me, but no matter what it takes, Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven can and will help us. Do not give up. Do not give in. Trust Him. He is real. He is your Father. You are not alone. He will accept you no matter what. We had this thought earlier this week that I would like to share with you: "Stop worrying about where you are, or even where you've been, or what you will be, just focus on serving the Lord. We shouldn't feel guilty or pained because we aren't perfect, we shouldn't feel like we can never stand before God and be able to withstand Him, we should always feel like He LOVES US and He wants us to succeed, and HE DOESN'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR YOU TO GET THERE. He will help you if you are willing. He loves you, and He will do what it takes to get you there, stop worrying, He will take care of you---that is hope. That is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Repent  daily, but trust always that He will help you." 

Don't let your imperfections get you down. Got doesn't care how long you are imperfect for, He will accept and love you as long as you are honestly striving to do His will. And remember, what He requires is never more than you are willing to do. 

I love you I love you I love you.

Keep running, keep pushing, keep striving. Go ahead and square your shoulders. Trust that it will be okay, you will get through it, and if you don't, I'm still here. So will the Savior be. 

Rock on. Peace, Love, and Temple Marriage, in that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

It's snowing and I have a sweater!!

Where I Am Willing To Go -- 21 October 2013

This week has been an opportunity to use talents that I never expected on my mission. It turns out, I know quite a bit more about computers than... pretty much everyone in the office. So, I've been on call for the senior missionaries. That's been fun.

Two days ago, we were on our way home from an appointment, when we saw someone on the side of the road trying to fix his bike. So we pulled over and offered to help. We got it all put together and fixed up (thank you, dad) we asked him if he wanted to know more about who Jesus Christ is. He said, "Yeah, absolutely!" Pretty exciting. Probably the most successful contact I've ever had (that's not saying much up here, but you know... God consecrates the effort of the faithful). 

I honestly don't know what else to say this week...

Just know that God loves you. Believe in Him. Trust that He wants the best for you, he wants you to be the best you can be. Jeffery R. Holland said, "God doesn’t care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go."

Believe in Him. Trust Him. He isn't worried about where you've been. Where are you and are you willing to go where He wants you to go? Will you trust Him? I will. Always.

I hope I never forget the lessons that the Lord has taught me... I know it must be hard in regular life to hang on to the lessons that we learn every week. It must be so hard to put off the things of the world, and to live all the laws, from music, to movies, to being kind, to loving your neighbor, even to sharing the gospel... But I can only imagine the power that would be available to someone who chose to sanctify themselves to such a point, that they could follow all the spiritual promptings they received, regardless of their circumstances. Maybe someday I'll be that man that others can depend on to always be there. Maybe, I'll be someone that can lift, inspire, motivate, and glorify my Father everywhere I go. 

I know this Gospel is true. I love you all so much.

Rock on. Peace, Love, and Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill

Consistent God -- 17 October 2013

I love you all did you know that? I'm trying to get caught up, believe me, but you should know that I do love you.

Well, I'm doing my best right now to get the missionary work under control over here. We've been working a lot with other missionaries recently, and especially spending a lot of time in the office. We've been getting programs working correctly (talents that I never thought I would be using on my mission) running backups and preparing the office for an upgrade. Yesterday we were in the office doing paperwork until 6:30, then we had a dinner appointment and a less-active lesson. I find that one thing I really miss is having consistent personal studies. I can really see it affecting my teaching and the general spirit I feel throughout the day. I don't know how I went through life before without consistent studies... it's always the lift, the boost that I need. I find happiness and peace in greater measure when I study the Gospel. I find that I am always given what I should say, even in situations that don't seem like such a big deal.

I had a sweet experience a few weeks ago. We had just had a training on the new church program, "Adjusting to Missionary Life." Basically, it's a new book all about learning to deal with stress, especially in the mission field. In the training we did role plays where we took time to talk with a missionary who was struggling with personal issues. Issues like home-sickness, depression, frustration, stress, discouragement, and disobedience. We discussed the affect that we could have on individuals who are battling said issues and we talked about things that we found helpful when we were struggling. Then we practiced helping other missionaries. Well, later that evening we went on an exchange with some other missionaries in our zone. The missionary that I was with was really hurting for various reasons, and I could tell. To make matters worse, we were in a meeting with his Ward Mission Leader who was just tearing him apart. I stood up for him, in the most Christlike way that I could... then he started in on me. (sarcasm is the devils tool, btw) (bold language, but it's destructive, don't use it,  you might hurt someone you love without meaning to) So, I calmly (I used to just freak out in those situations, I guess that's one good way I've grown) focused the direction back to the reason for the meeting. 

After it was over, this missionary and I went into the church washroom and I just asked him how he was doing. He expressed his feeling of inadequacy, and his honest desire to just be a good boy. He felt that he was disappointing his God, his trainer, his ward mission leader, and Himself. He placed his leaders on a pedestal of perfection and asked questions such as, "What do I need to do to be more like so-and-so?" or "Why can't I just do it as well as said-awesome-missionary?" When he was done expressing himself, I said a silent prayer in my mind that I would be guided to know what to say. I honestly don't remember what I did say (such, I suppose is the nature of the spirit) but what I know is that the Spirit was there. Tears were shed as the spirit testified of His divine worth, and potential. Somehow, the message got across that I loved him, and that the Lord loves him. That the Lord doesn't expect perfection, but he does expect us to try. It was beautiful to see the Lord work so quickly.

I think one of the cruelest poisons in the world is comparison. It is a weakness that I have, along with many other imperfections. In our own way, we all compare ourselves with others, and we really shouldn't. We are all at our own places in life, in our own ways and our own times. It is good to have role-models, but when we look at our performances as failures because of the successes of others, then we are damaging ourselves and damming our own personal progression, because it is discouraging. We aren't perfect beings, but we are capable of great things if we choose to believe in ourselves.

Confidence is not the certainty of success but rather the conclusion that failure does not determine our worth—we lose nothing by trying.

I want you to know that I love you all. Please don't be discouraged, know that I love you, and trust that God will take care of you. You can trust in Him. 

I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. We are our Father's children. 

Peace, Love, and Temple Marriage. In that order.

Elder Taylor J. Hill